listen to my silences
2002-01-18 21:25:15 (UTC)

i don't deny it

k so everyone who has read that last entry has been
like "wow that is harsh".

i don't deny it.

i'm still pissed off. those who know me know how long and
how much it takes for me to get this angry, this fierce.
to the point where i almost don't even care anymore.

and it takes even more for me to cool off.
so give me some time. unless you want something said that
i will want to take back later but at the time i'll mean
every word of it and i won't care.

i hate that we're going through this, but it's been running
deeper than it appeared for awhile. so hopefully soon
we'll get it all sorted out. not only the latest stuff but
all of it.

i'm sorry to all who have been dragged into this. whether
by me or someone else. it's not right and i shouldn't have
done it and it shouldn't have been done.

on another subject: to any who talk to me, know this. i am
a sounding board for you, not a resounding board. i'm here
to hear you to listen to you to respond to you to help
you. not to repeat what you say to someone else not to
twist what you say into what i want not to make it echo off
every wall. those two letters make a big difference.

too bad more people aren't sounding boards instead of
resounding boards. we'd all have a lot less problems. and
no, that last comment is no reference to the subject at the

final thought: your clouded eyes betray you your half smile
is a lie; your heart exists not in your actions your soul
got left behind