Thoughts arrive like butterflies
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2002-01-18 21:17:17 (UTC)


*Sigh* he nearly topped himself again. I think.

Only 2 and a half weeks into the new year. It seems much
longer. Is everything speeding up or am I slowing down, I'm
just spinning around and I don't know why.
Damn, I've ben listening to The Fragile too much. I don't
listen to it in months, then bam..non stop.

Anyways...all this week I haven't wanted to go to school.
You know that feeling you get when you just know something
is about to happen, then it doesn't but you still have that
feeling building up inside you and you need to let it
out...well, yeah. But I didn't cut. I didn't even get
depressed, I just got..blank. If that makes any sense. LOL,
probably not.

Arhg, opticians tomorrow. I want to get "Natural born
killers" tomorrow when I go downtown, but I'm so stupid
I'll forget my money or something.

You know, I'm really fucking angry at the school at the
moment. The teachers, the people, the rules.
I mean for example.. work experience. I wanted to work with
my dad and Dave at the Tattoo shop ,which was fine, until a
few weeks ago when the aplication got rejected. Now I have
to find somewhere else to go. My G rang up my mum to
discuss it, but he hasn't rung back, so fuck him.
I was meant to go to a meeting to get into Leeds Art
colege, but fuck that. I'm not going to a colege. I'm not
going to work with people who bitch about me, say things
about me behind my back because they aren't fucking strong
enough to say it to my face.
I'm not going to work with anyone. I want to go into a
fucking recluse for fucking ever.
I'm not having school, the Education board, my parents or
ANYONE telling me what the fuck to do with my life. Just
because they have gotten where they want to get, it doesn't
mean I will. I never do.

Fuck, Ive said an awful lot of "fucking"....just getting my
point across.