Fishnet Goddess

Rainbows, Ice-a-ma-cream, and Lemonade
2002-01-18 20:12:28 (UTC)

I'm so tired!

I'm probably going to feel exhausted all day. Last
night I stayed up until 2:15 with Daniel and Laura. Ryan
went to bed around midnight. The entire 2 hours after he
went to bed, the three of us just stayed up and talked. I
was resting my head in Laura's lap and she played with my
hair, almost the entire time. It was so nice. I really love
the feel of her fingers running through my hair. It's the
most calming thing in the world. I almost told her about
the dream I had about her, and I did tell her little bits
and pieces, but not that I kissed her. I told her that her
dad wouldn't let me see her, but not why he wouldn't let me
see her. I'm sure that some things are better left unsaid
anyway. But I feel like we have such an open relationship
that I could probably tell her. I just don't know how
exactly I'd bring it up. She is so great. I really think
that it's not really that I have a crush on her (I don't
actually want to be with her or sleep with her or anything,
not really). It's more that I just love her, more than just
as a friend, but not as a a significant person
in my life. I just love her, plain and simple. I enjoy
laying my head in her lap while she plays with my hair, but
in a totally innocent way. Like when you're five years old
and you've had a rotten day at school, and you just curl up
in your mom's lap. Or when you're "sweet sixteen", and the
guy you think you're in love with asks you out, and you go
run and hug and kiss your friend and you're so happy that
you feel free enough to be able to shower your friend with
kisses and not be aware of those immature same-sex-
affection-anxieties. In those instances, you just
innocently love someone, pure and true love. It's the best
kind :)
That's all for now, I've gotta get back to work!