J_Addison

The Humor in Drama
2002-01-18 07:36:47 (UTC)

working on the quick shot

Days from starting my spring semester.

Goals to be reached now:

Sarah Lawrence or NYU in two years.

Two years.

Sub-goals to work at major goal:

4.0 in college.

Constant efficiency.

Constant improvement.

Constant focus.

Goal centered.

The drive for success scares me a little bit. I want this
so bad that I can't wait to bury myself in assignment
after assignment, class after class, day after day.

I want to eat, breathe, and sleep academia.

I want to make the system know what it woke up.

In first grade it took me days to prove my intelligence.
Slowly, my intellect was proven less and less outside, and
held more and more inside. I had nothing left to prove to
myself or anyone else, so why try?

This is the next phase. It's time to release the well-
rounded being I've become onto the competitive arena
again. I want the game. I want the drive. I want the win.

This could be a psychosis developing that will be ready to
spring out 30 years down the road. I hope not.
Maybe I call it psychotic because I'm so unused to hearing
myself even care about a drive in life. Having a direction
is really exciting.

And yet...am I running from anything?

Time
to
not
care
about
trivial
theories
that
present
no
viable
reasoning
behind
their
claims.

But still, it clicked for a reason.

Time for rational thought to wipe the slate clean and have
me return in the morning ready for more.




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