nin137

Nick's Journal
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2002-01-18 06:17:23 (UTC)

The Dead End Job

I want a Dead End Job. what could be better? i want to
be that guy that works at the drive-thru from 8-2 am. i
want to be so pissed at myself and society that i take
pride in "accidentally" losing someone's spicy chicken
filet burger and then finding it wedged tightly between my
anus. i want to hate people even more than i do now. i
want to look at someone and just let all my hatred and
wasted life wash over them like acid rain. i want them to
cringe and look away. i want them to see just how fucking
pathetic i am that they don't even consider yelling at me
when i accidentally hit their ugly baby with a spatula. i
want to be satisfied with seeing grandma wallow in the
midst of a heart attack thanks to me accidentally putting
the 'super-duper, spicy jalapeno' in her chilli.
i want to forget silverware. i want to blame the
customer. i want to spill coffee on some bitch that
complains about the food being cold. i want to embrass
the guy on his first date by following after he gets done
going to the bathroom and telling him at the table in
front of his girl that i won't serve him his food until he
washes his hands. i want to embarrass, harrass, hate, and
blame. i'm too lazy to be a politican, so i figure
fucking up your hamburger will make you even more pissed
than me not signing the "gun control bill". isnt' that
funny? and kinda stupid?
we get pissed at the jackass that i describe. we get
pissed when someone acts like we're not the king of
his/her world. we can't understand it. he gets paid to
serve me, can't he fucking put a smile on his face? yet
we overlook politicans......oh they know what they're
doing. it doesnt' affect us. we're satisfied when we get
the busboy fired for spilling red wine on us but we simply
look at our newspaper in consternation when there is a
change of senators amidst a scandal.
so i'll provide you with your satisfactoin. you can love
the fact that i lost my shitty job at the pizzeria. you
can assure yourself that i'm never going anywhere "with
that attitude" but then again have you really traveled
that far down the road? flash your bills in my face and
patronize me with your shiny quarter for my tip, but in
the end you're just going back to a life of "what if i had
stayed in college?". see that's our problem. our society
focuses too much on what if? what if i hadn't married
her? what if i had married HER!? what if i had picked mary
instead of anne, jared instead of josh? names whirl
through our minds and we jump between the tall buildings
of doubt in our mind, and sometimes we miscalculate our
jump and end up plunging to our demise, and on the way
down we buy a harley and think it's a good idea to
experiment with hookers. we get caught, we lose what we
had, and we just say fuck it to life. we dont' need our
high position in society, we can survive on the bare
minimum. YES! in fact that's what we need! a hearty dose
of living at the bottom. we apply at the local fast food
place, and just as we feel the first twinge of freedom as
we serve the fries, we turn around to find that the busboy
we got fired is now our supervisor...............


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