daydream disbeliever

Mad Ramblings From a Blithering Idiot
2002-01-18 03:53:09 (UTC)

Embarassing Realization

I've been reading old entries and I saw that J figures
largely in too many for comfort. I may as well admit it
now. I *think* I might be in like with him. It's not the
same kind of soft feelings I've had for boys in the past-
Adam in high school, Brian the Moronic Marvel, Jason the
Soccer Nazi-but just oddly different. I wonder what he
thinks of me; if rumours that S and PR started are true.
He does tease me a lot, but he picks on L and several
others as well. I don't know. It confuses me and makes me
angry, yet makes me want to laugh hysterically at the
humour in the scenario at the same time. I've never felt
like this in this specific situation before. Maybe I
should go to that psychic. A went, Jules went, and so does
Bennie. However, my father gave me an adamant "NO!" when I
asked for his advice. I think, though, that I will. Now
all I have to do is summon the courage to call for an
appointment and become a bigger bitch/ice queen towards J.
Until then I remain the confused and cowardly


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