Jencaero

Happy Noodle Boy Rox!
2002-01-18 02:37:34 (UTC)

23

Shit
why the hell cant she ever fucking be satisfied with what i
can give why does she always want fucking more
i fucking work fucking over fucking 5 hours on my fucking
room and shes not fucking satisfied the next day
says thereare a few papers on the floor, my homework
fuck that man
fuck it
fuck everything
damnit i fucking try and i explain and she gets pissed and
doesnt LISTEN SO I FUCKING SCREAM AND CRY AND IT ESCALATES
UNTIL SHE SLAPS ME OR FUCKING SOMETHING AND THEN ITS A
FUCKING WAR AND WHY THE HELL DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT
fucking crying
me the one who always puts on a front that seems like i
never fucking cry
oh but i fucking do
i do
damnit why the hell does it matter i know why
because i guess i really do love her
whenever we get in fights it makes me cry
why the hell do i
theyre so stupid i feel like im gonna puke
damnit but she never seems like she loves me
we never talk only to fight i cant take it
i cant take it
i cant take it
i cant take it
somebody fucking kill me
grrrrrrrr
im not a normally neat person
she fuckin knows that
damnit its so hard for me to be neat
and what is there to do
fuck if she doesnt like my bathroom she doesnt need to go
inspect it
i mean i spent forever cleaning it this weekend
to make her SHUT THE FUCK UP
i sound like im pissed off but im not
im fucking crying because i fucking feel fucking abandoned
and i cant fucking do anything about it
fuckin eh'?
and what if i do
i clean and it stays like that for a few hours
then another fight
i dont understand
ill never measure up to her standards
NEVER FUCKING NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER
im not perfect, why should i be expected to be
i try my best isnt that good enough
get fucking as in school but thats not good enough
low as are too close to a b
theyre bad
damnit if i dont go to tennis 1 day shell get on my fucking
case and i feel like fucking quitting because there seems
to be no fucking point to any of this shit and nothing of
it matters in the end but fuck i still play this charade
and fight and cry on the inside and outside and i cant keep
it up much longer it just doesnt work like that
theres only so much that i can take
and after that im done
i cant be pushed anymore
ill be pushed off a fuckin cliff into a fuckin ocean of the
tears shes made me cry and fucking drown
and as i fall towards my impending doom i will hear he shout
dont forget to clean your room
and then ill smile
because itll be over
and i wont have to worry
but no, thats not me
id frown
i havent figured out the meaning of life yet
but damnit
sometimes it seems like that doesnt matter
sometimes it seems just like i need only my parents love
and the love of a few others
and ill be fine
but things are constantly changing
just as my mother and i are constantly fighting
damnit though its not just that
theres more to us
its not about a messy room
and i know that
i dont think she does
fuckin' eh.