2002-01-18 02:36:53 (UTC)

A good day.....

Well, Kalua wasn't at school today because he had to go
to his Uncle's funeral. I felt pretty bad even though he
didn't know him all that well. Well Kalua wasn't in
baseball today and Jason was..... haha. Well since I am
the Varsity Baseball team manager, Coach Twombley made me
sweep up the broken glass in the dugout. Well I had this
screen thing that I had to sift the glass out of the dirt
with and I was sitting there and Jason walked up to me and
was like...
"What the hell is he making you do?"
"Pick up the glass...."
"That sucks. What did you do? Drop your 40?"
"Gosh, I wish..."
And we both started laughing. That was our actual first
words ever said to each other. I can't describe how I feel
about him. It's weird. No one really understands how I am
about him. It sounds so stupid and I know it does. It's a
kind of known but not spoken about thing. My ex Kalua and
his ex Christine are best best friends. I hate Christine
and he hates Kalua. I have always thought he was a total
hottie, cuz he is, he's like the hottest guy at our
school. We see each other a lot throughout the day. When
I get a ride to school with Kalua, we pass by his car and
he always looks for me. Then I always see him after 2nd,
3rd and 4th period. Then at lunch, we hang out at the
senior patio for awhile and we always look at each other
and then we have 6th period baseball together. It is so
weird whenever we look at each other. It's not like when
you walk by someone and just look up at them and keep
walking. When we walk by, we like look at each other from
the moment they come into sight until the moment we pass
by. I try so hard not to smile but it's hard! Yesterday,
when I was on my way to 3rd, I didn't know he was coming up
right in front of me and I was laughing at something Vickie
and Jackie said and he was just right there and he looked
down at me and I looked up at him and I was still smiling
and when he smiling, he smiled at me. Like a really super
big nice smile. It was so sweet. I was happy all day
pretty much. And I always think of this time that Kalua
was drinking and it was at lunch and he came up to me and
he started hugging me and I was facing Jason and Jason was
facing me and he was hugging his girlfriend Erica and we
just stared in each others eyes for the longest time.
Probably 2 minutes. It seemed like forever though. Gina
saw and I explained to her everything and she was
like, "That is so sweet! It's like on those movies when
they really want to be with each other but they can't
because they already are married. It's like you guys were
looking at each other wishing you were hugging each other
so pretty much... you were hugging each other!" It was
funny. And I was talking to Jeff in baseball today and I
know they are friends so I was trying to initiate
conversation about him and finally we were talking about
how he walks. Jeff said he kinda "struts." And I was
saying that he walks like he knows he's sexy. Then we
started talking about how he looks sexy in his baseball
clothes and Jeff asked if I seriously think he's sexy and
told him that I never really thought about it and he said
well wait til he turns around and then tell him. It was so
funny, Jeff wanted him to turn around so he yelled Jason's
name and waited til he looked and then flipped him off and
Jason leaned forward against the pole and sexily pulled up
the back of his shirt so we could see his butt cuz he had
tight baseball pants on and we all laughed. He is so HOT!
Geez, I could talk about him forever. Okay, this is the
last thing and I am off the subject..
One day, Kalua and I and Jason and Corey and Nicci were
all in the dugout watching the guys play a game of soft
toss and Kalua was laying down and I was leaning on his
stomache and he was being such an asshole. He was yelling
mean things like, "Damn, Joey! You can't hit for shit!" And
I got fed up with it and yelled back. I was like, "Shut up
already! I'm sick of you! You are NOT perfect!" And
since no one likes him because he's such an ass, they were
all laughing and I was like, "You notice that no one says
the mean things you do?" And he was like, "Yeah, no one
can be like me.." And I stood up and I was all, "NO ONE
WANTS TO BE LIKE YOU!" And they all started laughing and
he went off on me and started yelling and I was yelling
back and Corey got up and was like, "CALM DOWN!!" And I
started telling Corey in a loud voice what an asshole Kalua
is and I started to walk out of the dugout and Kalua
grabbed my arm and pushed me against the wall and started
bitching at me and I saw Jason get up to do something and
he moved so he could see my face and I just looked at him
and pushed Kalua away from me and walked away and Jason
gave Kalua the dirtiest look and sat back down. It was so
sweet. I mean, it doesn't seem like a big deal, but the
fact ht ehe was about to stick up for me, you know? That
he was looking to see if I was okay? I don't know...
Maybe this will be one of those "love from afar" things
forever or maybe we'll start talking... I don't know, but
whatever it is... as long as I get to look at him all I
want, I'm happy.