|ost . in . si|ence

desperately seeking *se|f*
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2002-01-17 22:43:05 (UTC)

•[ a new look? a new diary. ]•

Wow.
It's been a little while since I've written in a diary that
*wasn't* TOD. I figured.. while I have time.. and.. while I
have something to be thinking of, I might as well write in
here.Tonight, my friend Caitlin & I are hangin' out!
The two of us have been really great friends for about 2
years now & she just recently started college, leaving me
here.. alone.. in sleepyville as a senior. She's still on
her college break, soooo.. looks like we're in for some
fun! Only.. we're hanging out with some of -my- friends
from the town next door.
Okay. Well, maybe he was a little more than my friend at
one point. We never really dated. He was more of a one-
night-stand.. but.. we were really into each other. And, we
had sex. We still talk, we still hang out (sometimes),
but.. more importantly, neither of us have done anything
like that -since- then. Which is why I'm nervous for
tonight.
Right now, I am currently dating someone who I'm infatuated
with. We've been friends for 7 months, dating for at least
4, & I know.. *know*.. that it'll keep growing. Don't know
why. But, it's incredible. Anyway, I don't wanna even
jeopardize he & I in the least bit, so.. tonight.. I have
to stay within my boundaries, which is hard.. because I
overstep them way too often. Self-control is really hard to
maintain with somebody you find ultimately beautiful. Just
the same, I'm still nerved. Eh.

|ove, me


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