Jake πΊπΈ
Killing Lions
2013
- January 2013
- 23 - just some random ..
- 24 - So there's this girl
- 24 - what did i get myself into?
- 26 - weekend lonelyness
- 29 - busy...
- February 2013
- 05 - alone.... (but it could be ..
- 14 - insults
- March 2013
- 23 - likes attract
- 23 - geek life Topic: Grades
- April 2013
- 11 - {boring rant}
- June 2013
- 02 - girls... pressure, and ..
- 16 - pressured to write
- 21 - Summer, What do i do to ..
- 23 - choices
- July 2013
- 09 - Jealous, and a couple rants ..
- 23 - KIDS
- August 2013
- 01 - ive realized that i must ..
- 05 - Don't think just do (a ..
- 11 - Sick...
- 17 - Stuck in the library!!!
- 18 - bored
- 24 - so much to do but so little ..
- 31 - Far too busy for friends
- September 2013
- 28 - too much
- October 2013
- 08 - Meaning
- 19 - Naturally
- November 2013
- 23 - Thanksgiving break!! :O
- December 2013
- 21 - 2013 - reflection (sound ..
- 25 - broed
2014
- January 2014
- 06 - Practice makes permanent
- 21 - Social Caste
- February 2014
- 12 - random thoughts
- 13 - What I find attractive in ..
- March 2014
- 29 - Crushes
- April 2014
- 06 - random thoughts
- 20 - Finals, (and other thoughts ..
- 20 - not feeling it, ~ run-on ..
- May 2014
- 02 - Today I went with my ..
- 17 - done with exams... now that ..
- 17 - Dreams, depression and ..
- 26 - Sunday=Funday and some ..
- 28 - summer time, lots of it
- June 2014
- 02 - reflections, am i a zombie?
- 07 - Work and life
- 19 - My Fears
- 20 - Good feelings
- 29 - Why are woman still barbie ..
- 29 - A life changing experience ..
- July 2014
- 13 - People vs Things
- 14 - Root Choices
- 20 - Dreams - Getting into Grad ..
- 28 - Social Media Magic
- August 2014
- 15 - Religion... why is it so ..
- 16 - Empty, homesick and Alone
- 22 - Back to school (yey...)
- 30 - Nature vs Nurture
- September 2014
- 14 - THOUGHT: What all humans ..
- 15 - Unfair
- October 2014
- 19 - Butterflies
- 29 - Cluttered thoughts
- November 2014
- 26 - Thanksgiving Break.. ew
- December 2014
- 05 - What Being Cool is Really ..
- 26 - Sometimes things aren't ..
- 28 - What is love? I have no ..
2015
- January 2015
- 02 - Feelings: Good or Bad?
- 10 - My Sister
- 27 - Snow Day: Woop, woop!
- February 2015
- 10 - Confused Broken
- 17 - Stressed
- March 2015
- 10 - A very bad experience...
- 11 - Dreams of Adventure
- 22 - An awkward situation: church
- April 2015
- 04 - Too Much Life to Chew
- May 2015
- 09 - Emotion and reflections
- 23 - how to love
- 24 - Nostalgia - An ending of ..
- June 2015
- 05 - first week of internship
- 06 - Questions about religion
- 08 - Settling down
- 17 - why live life?
- 18 - Dear Furture Wife,
- 21 - Fifty Shades of Grey - ..
- 27 - Girls, Gay Marriage
- 27 - Living in DC
- 27 - Working in DC
- 29 - What have i become?
- July 2015
- 11 - Work: Is this my future?
- 23 - Self-consciousness
- 25 - Distractions (this girl)
- 25 - Volleyball
- 26 - WORDS
- August 2015
- 04 - Why I believe in God
- 14 - living in the mid-west ..
- 30 - first week of grad school
- September 2015
- 09 - Swing dancing -- the best ..
- 13 - the eye of the storm
- 24 - FEAR
- 26 - If only I asked her out...
- October 2015
- 08 - Making all the right ..
- 19 - This WEBSITE is S.L.O.W.
- 31 - Unbearable Pressure
- November 2015
- 07 - Trying to find the in ..
- 12 - When there's nothing you ..
- 19 - Pizza and Grad School
- 21 - Too self conscious
- 24 - lying - thanksgiving alone
- 30 - Hello children, I'm Scrooge!
- December 2015
- 28 - Hopeless Romance
2016
- January 2016
- 02 - Our Paths Split... (+2016 ..
- 07 - how to live your life (2)
- 31 - Reality; life is hard
- February 2016
- 06 - Grapefruit Yogurt
- 13 - What I think of racism ..
- 14 - the Weak minded
- 21 - Working for the weekend? I ..
- March 2016
- 02 - *Another Tuesday...
- 06 - no time for love
- 26 - **Popular Loner
- 29 - teaching college kids
- April 2016
- 02 - Busy week
- 11 - Emotionless Moneymaker
- 12 - Monday: Stray Thoughts
- 27 - I wish I knew what to say
- May 2016
- 03 - **A dark time in my life ..
- 15 - **HS friends, thinking ..
- 21 - My friend with a drinking ..
- June 2016
- 05 - Work - nothing to live for
- 09 - The media *sigh* (RANT)
- July 2016
- 09 - jogging -- a magical place
- 16 - Stress and Growing up
- 22 - I was pepper sprayed --
- 28 - **Dating? nty (for now)
- 30 - And we run -- dun dun dun
- August 2016
- 14 - A small window of laziness
- 18 - I can't say no
- 27 - waiting for love...
- September 2016
- 02 - Social Struggles
- 06 - Its been a year since I ..
- 11 - **love, feelings, pain
- 17 - Just me preaching -- ..
- 23 - yet another late night at ..
- October 2016
- 07 - Pretty boring week
- 11 - The monster inside of us?
- 15 - I want to get BETTER ..
- 21 - The best boss ever
- 29 - So I'm going to have a ..
- November 2016
- 01 - I think I'm going crazy
- 12 - Suicide (and election rant)
- 14 - Why I run (short)
- 17 - Thanksgiving
- 24 - The 'terrible' struggles of ..
- December 2016
- 07 - secrets
- 11 - Friends, physics, running ..
- 16 - Back home!!
- 20 - Passions
- 22 - Snowboarding and smart-ass ..
- 24 - sisters
- 27 - My 2016 Review: Success and ..
- 31 - 2017 Resolutions!!
2017
- January 2017
- 01 - more random thoughts
- 02 - Website refresh!!! (and ..
- 03 - i'm losing myself
- 08 - I might be mentoring little ..
- 12 - Trying to make friends.
- 14 - A performance of emotions
- 19 - The stupidest thing
- 21 - Life Principles (2017)
- 26 - Feminists (RANT)
- 29 - An embarrassing moment
- February 2017
- 02 - anxious and lonely
- 08 - stress and writing this ..
- 12 - **Regarding Romantic ..
- 16 - Week update (politics, ..
- 19 - Being a scientist...
- 24 - Transitioning to the real ..
- 25 - sad
- March 2017
- 02 - Challenge
- 10 - Jumping the gun
- 13 - **I'm half dutch
- 16 - Burning Bridges
- 21 - **it ain't me
- 26 - **Safe in my arms (and ..
- 30 - **To a man's heart?
- April 2017
- 06 - TIFU
- 08 - issues
- 30 - Church
- May 2017
- 09 - summertime sadness
- 18 - More free time :)
- 20 - Becoming a better person
- 21 - The right kind of anger
- 27 - sluts
- 29 - sluts part 2
- 30 - Should I ask her out?
- June 2017
- 03 - Sarah, clubbing and girls
- 13 - More girl problems
- 18 - Family Drama and... girls
- 24 - Trying to pick a girl to ..
- 25 - Ughhhhh feeling like an ..
- 30 - Trying to understand women
- July 2017
- 02 - 5 hours
- 05 - Chicago
- 21 - Moving
- 30 - Cooping with roommates...
- August 2017
- 16 - Not good enough for anyone
- 31 - Life update and chasing ..
- September 2017
- 04 - Shallow love
- 07 - the old days are gone
- 14 - She's a mystery
- October 2017
- 02 - Mr Robot
- 14 - Hot girl privilege
- 24 - Runners High
- 25 - P
- 26 - Reflections
- 30 - Can't stop thinking of her
- November 2017
- 06 - Fake Love
- 20 - Still thinking about her
- 28 - I'd rather feel pain than ..
- 29 - Politics (my opinions)
- December 2017
- 03 - A date or just friends?
- 11 - Should I give up on her?
- 21 - Christmas Blues
2018
- January 2018
- 01 - New Year :D
- 02 - New Year's resolutions are ..
- 07 - Don't be a pussy
- 25 - Waiting for that text...
- 29 - Alcohol and being the "nice ..
- February 2018
- 08 - What now?
- 12 - da club
- 28 - Love that is inspiring
- March 2018
- 16 - Gonna travel to Korea!!
- 22 - Friends
- May 2018
- 26 - Hannah...
- 29 - Upset
- June 2018
- 04 - Starting over
- 07 - Post Marathon Thoughts
- July 2018
- 05 - Upset and alone
- 09 - Unqualified
- 21 - More goodbyes :(
- August 2018
- 06 - Burning bridges
- September 2018
- 09 - Platonic vibes and a ..
- 15 - Lonely? Idk....
- 24 - Intentions
- October 2018
- 08 - "You're a smart handsome ..
- 25 - What now?
- November 2018
- 22 - I need to write more
- December 2018
- 14 - Acceptance? Trust issues? ..
- 17 - Goodbyes
- 26 - Hoping and wishing for it ..
- 27 - This is a "normal" diary ..
- 28 - I need to stop
2019
- January 2019
- 12 - Costa Rica!!!
- 21 - I'm an old selfish bastard
- 27 - Update Alex
- 28 - 2019 goals
- February 2019
- 15 - **Social Ladder #2
- March 2019
- 09 - Updateeeee
- 09 - My heart can't forget her...
- April 2019
- 18 - Update
- 30 - Why do I shut people out??
- May 2019
- 29 - The craziest night of my ..
- June 2019
- 10 - Is it love or lust?
- July 2019
- 08 - Uneasy
- 21 - Missing her already... oh
- August 2019
- 03 - *A couple life goals?
- 07 - Something is there, but i ..
- 08 - I think I'm falling in love
- 20 - FEELINGS
- September 2019
- 28 - Reflections
- October 2019
- 28 - *Here by myself
- 31 - In love
- November 2019
- 22 - My day
2020
- February 2020
- 01 - Nowhere else to go...
- April 2020
- 03 - Break up
- 04 - What did I learn from my ..
- 05 - Quarantine diary -- How ..
- 07 - It hurts
- 16 - One step forward?
- 24 - Relapse π
- 29 - Confessions. Trying to be ..
- May 2020
- 09 - More dating experiences and ..
- June 2020
- 14 - Mad life of an extremely ..
- 18 - The search
- 19 - Catching feelings for her :(
- July 2020
- 07 - Searching for meaning
- 13 - Being honest with myself
- 16 - Friends are far
- 19 - A day with myself
- August 2020
- 01 - Ready to try a new ..
- 04 - What is it like? Bucket ..
- 06 - Pretty amazing date with a ..
- 26 - *Breakup
- September 2020
- 15 - Kind of in a low spot
- 27 - All grown up
- October 2020
- 03 - Clearing out "toxic" people ..
- 04 - How to improve a ..
- November 2020
- 09 - I need to get into a ..
- 10 - Craving new social ..
- December 2020
- 04 - Planning my first kiss?
- 06 - What I want in a girl
- 06 - First kiss
- 12 - Falling for her (yikes)
- 19 - Another break-up....
- 19 - My thoughts on the Stock ..
- 20 - Some random thoughts: kids, ..
- 26 - My very judgmental family ..
- 30 - My top 2020 memories
2021
- January 2021
- 05 - Random Thoughts (again)
- 22 - Apathy :(
- 25 - Lonely
- 26 - I'm a real asshole
- February 2021
- 12 - Thoughts on free thinking
- 27 - Update
- March 2021
- 09 - Crowded mind
- 13 - Pretty average saturday ..
- April 2021
- 01 - A few thoughts on different ..
- 04 - "A friend to all is a ..
- May 2021
- 25 - Reflections and updates
- June 2021
- 10 - Entertaining my inner dark ..
- 12 - Swiping left on everyone
- 15 - Why I'm quitting running ..
- 24 - Thinking vs Feeling mini ..
- July 2021
- 05 - Independence Day....
- 29 - The RED PILL: Trying to ..
- August 2021
- 02 - Stressed
- 02 - Chasing girls that are too ..
- September 2021
- 08 - Arrogant
- 28 - "I don't want to waste your ..
- October 2021
- 02 - Gonna stay single forever
- 05 - Break out
- 21 - She's giving me conflicting ..
- November 2021
- 04 - Gender roles, relationship ..
- 12 - She's a people pleaser
- 25 - Sex and Christianity ..
- 25 - 8 expectations for my ..
- December 2021
- 20 - Meeting my gf's identical ..
- 22 - I think if you're wise, ..
- 27 - "Tell me all the juicy ..
2022
- January 2022
- 07 - The homemaker wife....
- 11 - My top 2021 memories
- 19 - Energy
- February 2022
- 02 - Relationship issues :(
- March 2022
- 02 - What do I do?
- 03 - Falling slowly for her
- 07 - C'est oui ou bien c'est non?
- April 2022
- 22 - Single me (again) π
- 26 - Drunk on jealousy
- May 2022
- 07 - Random thoughts
- 15 - Emotionally unstable woman
- 19 - Pretty low
- 23 - "You will break a lot ..
- 30 - don't worry about tomorrow
- June 2022
- 07 - "The world isn't in your ..
- 12 - Dating Apps
- 22 - **Why I only date virgins
- July 2022
- 05 - I'm not a fan of twerking
- 18 - RED flags, GREEN flags
- 27 - Why I can be unlovable
- August 2022
- 13 - Diet Dr Pepper
- 20 - Saturday -- wasting time
- 20 - My Saturday :)
- 23 - Fat people
- September 2022
- 13 - Girl problems?
- 20 - Burning heart
- October 2022
- 09 - Jealousy
- 18 - Dissertation is due in 3 ..
- November 2022
- 04 - I like feminine girls
- 14 - What I would tell my ..
- December 2022
- 30 - Traveling Indonesia
2023
- January 2023
- 08 - Sex
- 11 - The sucker
- 22 - Her eyes
- February 2023
- 26 - The professional life
- March 2023
- 04 - lonely in a big city
- 22 - Daydreaming about ..
- 26 - Everyone loves a good story
- April 2023
- 01 - Two worlds
- 22 - Falling for her :)
- May 2023
- 05 - First date with Melissa π
- 14 - Insecurity
- 28 - Relationship Anxiety
- June 2023
- 07 - Be better
- 17 - My week (all the details)
- July 2023
- 14 - She's a 10 but loves ..
- 28 - Things I could never tell ..
- August 2023
- 02 - Thinking about Melissa
- 11 - "You can kiss me now"
- 19 - Time passes too fast
- 27 - Intense feelings
- September 2023
- 08 - Perfect dates
- October 2023
- 01 - Too good
- 22 - Social media
- November 2023
- 17 - Green Flags, red flags
- 17 - My updated LIFE PLAN
- 24 - Happy
- December 2023
- 04 - A girl better than fantasy
- 15 - How am I supposed to do ..
2024
- January 2024
- 02 - Top 2023 Emotional ..
- 02 - Letter to my future self ..
- 09 - Spain Trip with Melissa
- 10 - Horse girls.... a red flag?
- 14 - Jaded
- 26 - Getting back into a routine
- March 2024
- 09 - My Proposal plan :)
Jake πΊπΈ
Language: EnglishTotal entries: 403
Followers: 70
About:
I'm an American, university, doctorate student writing about my life. This diary is all about me. My inner thoughts and struggles mainly in terms of my relationship with friends and romantically to women. I'm a work in progress.
This diary isn't a regular thing, don't expect me to post anything, it's just something I do when I'm bored, lonely or have strong feelings (usually sadness). I don't think of myself as a depressed person and it's definitely not my intention to seem depressed in my entries. I think everyone would be surprised how much different I am in real life than what I write here.
I consider myself quite attractive, due mostly from the kind of woman I've been able to date. Physically I'm a tall (6' 4"), athletically built, blond hair, blue eyes, 27 yo guy. People have told me I look like Rick Cosnett. My friends describe my style and tastes as "country-side". I enjoy having space and I'm always up for an adventure with friends. My personality type is ENTJ (unfortunately, I can be quite intimidating). I work out and run a lot, almost every day actually.
A big side of me is my academic interests: I'm a huge science nerd, I consider myself pretty smart (as arrogant as it is to make such a claim). My day job is that I'm a scientist working in a government lab, though, I make more money trading stock (I'm very obsessed with numbers and analysis). I'm also one of those "parent pleasers" with the honors, all the A's and shit... I'm probably the world's biggest "try-hard", trying to get everything right; i never do. Spiritually I'm a Jesus lover. My faith has given me a new life and a reason to live and love.
I also enjoy getting feedback so don't be shy, I promise I'll be nice :)