Nihilist Cowboy
A Sick Man, A Spiteful Man, An Unattractive Man
2011
- April 2011
- 26 - Not Fair.
- 27 - Work
- 28 - addictions
- 30 - top prorities in life
- May 2011
- 01 - :)
- 03 - Reasons
- 11 - idk
- 16 - stuff
- June 2011
- 03 - Light at the End of the ..
- 13 - 7 months!!!
- 22 - Fathers Day
- 30 - Not worth it?
- August 2011
- 05 - "Your Dream will not be ..
- 23 - ......
- September 2011
- 13 - Scared
- 24 - Worried
- October 2011
- 12 - I wish you could ..
- 12 - I wish you could ..
- November 2011
- 09 - The pros and cons of being ..
- 18 - ......
- 22 - My Life..
2012
- March 2012
- 22 - stupidness
2013
- February 2013
- 14 - i cant do it
- 16 - i feel like its over
- 21 - an uphill battle
- 22 - day 1 without you
- 22 - day 2 without you
- 23 - my thoughts...
- 25 - yeah yeah i know.....
- 28 - READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
- 28 - Giving up the blind faith
- March 2013
- 01 - My decisions
- 07 - Not even 5 minutes?
- 14 - what i want
- 22 - cold cold heart.
- 30 - That boy
- September 2013
- 24 - 11 months later..
2014
- April 2014
- 16 - this week.
2015
- February 2015
- 02 - Reflections
- 02 - its been a while
- 11 - dammit
- 11 - Reflections pt 2
2020
- December 2020
- 29 - 10 years and a lifetime ..
2021
- January 2021
- 07 - "reviewed records"
- 12 - reflection exercise 1
- 14 - reflection exercise 2
- 15 - Reflection exercise 3: ..
- 18 - Reflection exercise 4: ..
- 19 - Reflection exercise 5: ..
- 20 - Reflection exercise 6: Life ..
- 21 - Inquiry in Sobriety: Will ..
- 22 - Manic Musings
- 23 - Reoccurring dream in ..
- 24 - Reflection Exercise ..
- 25 - Alienation Part 0: an ..
- 26 - Alienation in Childhood ..
- 26 - Inquiry in Sobriety: Will ..
- 27 - Paradox of the ideal of the ..
- 28 - Today's thoughts of me ..
- 30 - Atonement of the father
- 31 - Impact of First Love
- 31 - Impact of First Love 2
- February 2021
- 02 - Impact of Future Loves
- 02 - Alienation from others 1
- 03 - Impact of Future Loves 2
- 04 - 2//4 6am thoughts
- 07 - Alienation from others 2
- 09 - Alienation from God
- 09 - Prompt: What is something ..
- 10 - Ideal Woman to Not so ..
- 12 - Am I Living A Double Life?
- 13 - Prompt: What do you wish ..
- 15 - A Story of Unsung Heroes of ..
- 16 - Simulated Friends
- 16 - Prompt: What has been ..
- 18 - Simulated friends 2: ..
- 18 - Simulated Friends 3: A Cold ..
- 19 - A Somber Peace 2/19/2021
- 20 - Accepting Autism
- 20 - A My Diary Introduction
- 21 - 2/21/2021 thoughts
- 21 - An Unsent Letter 1: G
- 22 - 2/22/2021 Thoughts
- 23 - 2/23/2021 Thoughts: ..
- 24 - 2/24/2021 thoughts: ..
- 25 - 2/25/2021 thoughts: People ..
- 28 - Alienation from Work: ..
- March 2021
- 01 - 3/1/21 Thoughts: Needing a ..
- 02 - 3/2/21 Thoughts: Maybe it ..
- 03 - 3/3/21 Thoughts: An Ideal ..
- 04 - 3/4/21 Thoughts
- 05 - Prompt: What Scares You
- 08 - 3/8/21 Thoughts: How do ..
- 08 - 3/8/21 Thoughts: What would ..
- 09 - Prompt: What are your five ..
- 11 - I am not a good person
- 12 - 3/12/21 Thoughts: I think I ..
- 16 - 3/16/21 Thoughts: FOMO
- 17 - A Reframing Exercise
- 18 - A My Diary Update 100th ..
- 19 - 3/19/21 Thoughts: Nepotism ..
- 20 - 3/20/21 Thoughts: Nothing ..
- 21 - 3/21/21 Thoughts: Nothing ..
- 22 - 3/22/21 Thoughts: This ..
- 23 - 3/23/21 Thoughts: ..
- 24 - 3/24/21 Thoughts: Humbling ..
- 25 - 3/25/21 Thoughts: Social ..
- 27 - 3/26/21 Thoughts: Zach vs ..
- 30 - An Unsent Letter 2: Kim
- 30 - Alienation from Work 1
- April 2021
- 02 - What are three things you ..
- 04 - 4/4/2021 Thoughts: Fail Fire
- 04 - 4/4/2021 Thoughts 2: Zach's ..
- 05 - Ignorance is Bliss: 2011
- 06 - AA Step 9 Letter 12/25/2016
- 06 - 4//6/2021 Thoughts: To See ..
- 07 - 4/7/2021 Thoughts: Looking ..
- 08 - A Reframing Exercise 2
- 10 - 4/9/21 Thoughts: A Hard ..
- 11 - 4/11/2021 Thoughts: A ..
- 11 - 4/12/21 Thoughts: Would ..
- 12 - 4/12/21 Thoughts: A Hated ..
- 14 - 4/14/2021 Thoughts: ..
- 15 - On these day: 4/14 4/15 The ..
- 16 - 7 Years of Sobriety: What I ..
- 18 - 10 Years Ago Today
- 20 - Whiteness in America on the ..
- 25 - The Tragedy of Amy: My ..
- 27 - Alienation from being human?
- May 2021
- 03 - 5/3/21 Thoughts: Timelines
- 05 - Prompt: What effect do the ..
- 06 - 5/6/21 Thoughts: Eternal ..
- 08 - 5/8/21 Thoughts: Zach's ..
- 08 - 5/9/21 Thoughts: Mother's ..
- 10 - 5/10/21 Thoughts: A ..
- 15 - 5/15/21 Thoughts: A Social ..
- 17 - 5/17/21 Thoughts: A Hated ..
- 18 - 5/18/21 Thoughts: Missing ..
- 19 - 5/19/21 Thoughts: Missing ..
- 21 - 5/20/21 Group Therapy
- 23 - 5/23/21 Thoughts: A ..
- 25 - 5/26/21 Thoughts: ..
- 29 - 5/28/21 Thoughts: A Tough IT
- 30 - 5/30/21 Thoughts: Contempt, ..
- June 2021
- 01 - Congrats! You have your ..
- 06 - The Day My Parents Divorced.
- 07 - 6/7/21 Thoughts: Two ..
- 10 - 6/10/21 Thoughts: My role ..
- 13 - 6/13/21 Thoughts: ..
- 15 - My Diary Entry 150: Zach's ..
- 16 - Alienation from others 3
- 18 - 6/18/21 Thoughts: A ..
- 20 - 6/19/2010
- 21 - 6/21/2021 Thoughts: Random ..
- 23 - 6/23/2021 Thoughts: Fairness
- 24 - Fairness 2: Entitlement
- 28 - Fairness 3: The Future
- July 2021
- 01 - My Twisted Perception 1: ..
- 06 - My Twisted Perception 2
- 09 - 7/9/21 Jumbled 7am Thoughts
- 14 - Crisis of the 21st Century
- 20 - Prompt: Who are you?
- 23 - 7/22/2021 Thoughts: Online ..
- 25 - 7/23/2021 Thoughts: A 13th ..
- 26 - 7/25/2021 Thoughts: Anxiety ..
- 27 - My 30th Birthday
- 30 - 5am Existential Crisis
- August 2021
- 05 - Stillwater
- 09 - Baby's First Kafkaesque ..
- 10 - 8/10/21 Thoughts: Looking ..
- 11 - 8/11/21 Thoughts: Corporate ..
- 14 - Alone, Anger, and Fear
- 16 - 8/15/21 Thoughts: Another ..
- 18 - 8/18/21 Thoughts: ..
- 20 - 8/19/21 Thoughts: Fighting ..
- 23 - 8/23/21 Thoughts: On the ..
- 24 - 8/24/21 Thoughts: ..
- 26 - 8/26/21 Thoughts: An ..
- 29 - 8/25/21 Thoughts; Random ..
- 30 - A Study of my Addiction of ..
- 31 - 13th Step Confession: A ..
- September 2021
- 02 - Losing Texas
- 04 - 9/4/2021 Thoughts: ..
- 06 - Being Taken Advantage of: A ..
- 10 - 9/11/2001: The End of the ..
- 12 - 9/12/2021 Thoughts: ..
- 19 - 9/18/2021 Thoughts
- 23 - 9/23/2021 Thoughts: In the ..
- 24 - 9/24/2021 Thoughts: Live to ..
- 26 - 9/25/2021 Thoughts: 10 ..
- 30 - 9/30/2021 Thoughts: The ..
- October 2021
- 02 - 10/2/2021 Thoughts: The ..
- 09 - 10/8/2021 Thoughts: The ..
- 11 - The Girl in Black
- 18 - 10/18/2021 Thoughts: Would ..
- 21 - One Step Forward Two Steps ..
- 24 - 10/24/2021 Thoughts: ..
- 31 - 10/31/2021 Thoughts: The ..
- November 2021
- 01 - Entry 200: My Diary Update 4
- 07 - 11/6/2021 Thoughts: ..
- 08 - 11/8/2021 Thoughts: Locus ..
- 08 - 11/9/2021 Thoughts: ..
- 10 - To Hate Them is to Hate ..
- 13 - 11/13/2010
- 22 - Letter to My Younger Self
- 28 - 11/28/2021 Thoughts: The ..
- December 2021
- 01 - 12/1//2021 Thoughts: Self ..
- 04 - 12/3/2021 Thoughts: ..
- 14 - 12/14/2021 Thoughts: Health ..
- 22 - The Day my Dreams Turned to ..
- 26 - Fears of the Stepparent
- 29 - One Year of Thoughts and ..
2022
- January 2022
- 02 - 1/2/2022 Thoughts: More ..
- 06 - 1/5/2022 Thoughts: They Day ..
- 14 - 1/14/2022 Thoughts: Coming ..
- 18 - 1/18/2022 Thoughts: Coming ..
- 25 - 1/25/2022 Thoughts: Living ..
- 26 - 1/26/2022 Thoughts: The ..
- 30 - Lost Arcadia
- February 2022
- 13 - 2/13/2022 Thoughts: Anxiety
- 14 - 2/14/2022 Thoughts: ..
- 17 - 2/15/2022 Thoughts: Rights ..
- 21 - The Day my Dreams Turned to ..
- March 2022
- 03 - 3/3/2022 Thoughts: Der ..
- 12 - 2/12/2022 Thoughts: ..
- 21 - Reasons for Love?
- 30 - Despair and Hope
- April 2022
- 05 - 4/4/2022 Thoughts: Another ..
- 12 - 4/9/2022 Thoughts: A Life ..
- 17 - Anxiety, Sobriety, ..
- 27 - 4/27/2022 Thoughts: "And so ..
- May 2022
- 05 - 5/9/2022 Thoughts: ..
- 17 - 5/17/2022 Thoughts: Into ..
- 19 - 5/19/2022 Thoughts: ..
- 22 - 5/22/2022 Thoughts: Doing a ..
- 31 - 5/31/2022 Thoughts: ..
- June 2022
- 14 - 6/6/2022 Thoughts: Respite
- 19 - 6/19/2022 Thoughts: A ..
- 21 - Dissecting the Manosphere: ..
- 25 - 6/25/2022 Thoughts: At the ..
- 29 - 6/29/2022 Thoughts: The ..
- July 2022
- 12 - Unsent Letter #3 Abby
- 26 - 31
- 31 - Reoccurring Dreams
- August 2022
- 09 - 8/9/2022 Thoughts: Side ..
- 10 - 8/10/2022 Thoughts: In the ..
- 13 - 8/12/2022 Thoughts: Madison ..
- 16 - Entry 250: Bucket List
- 16 - 8/19/2022 Thoughts: At the ..
- 20 - 8/20/2022 Thoughts: ..
- 30 - To Admit I Was Wrong
- September 2022
- 02 - 9/2/2022 Thoughts: ..
- 17 - 9/17/2022 Thoughts: ..
- 29 - 9/29/2022 Thoughts: Message ..
- October 2022
- 06 - 10/6/2022 Thoughts: The ..
- 10 - 10/10/2022 Thoughts: Absurd ..
- 13 - 10/12/2022 Thoughts: The ..
- 18 - In Front of the Counter
- 19 - Friday Night Lights
- 28 - 10/28/2022 Thoughts: ..
- November 2022
- 18 - 11/18/2022 Thoughts: The ..
- 26 - 11/26/2022 Thoughts: All ..
- December 2022
- 09 - We Admitted That We Were ..
- 27 - I Used To Be A Little Boy, ..
2023
- January 2023
- 07 - He is Everything I Hate
- 08 - Thou Shalt not Covet
- 09 - 1/9/2023 Thoughts: ..
- 21 - 01/11/2023 Thoughts: 3 ..
- 24 - Fallen Dreams
- 31 - 72 Hours to Test Day
- February 2023
- 19 - 02/10/2023 Thoughts: At the ..
- 23 - People as NPCs 2
- March 2023
- 14 - Logotherapy Assignment
- 21 - The Girl in Black 2: A ..
- 27 - 3/27/2023 Thoughts: Rapture ..
- April 2023
- 17 - Remembering the Day
- 18 - So it Goes
- 25 - 4/25/2023 Thoughts: The ..
- May 2023
- 16 - Failing at Manhood
- 23 - The 5%
- 31 - 6 Years in the Psych Ward
- June 2023
- 09 - 6/8/2022 Thoughts: ..
- 13 - The Child of Divorce
- 29 - Logotherapy Class Final ..
- July 2023
- 13 - Suicide and Addiction ..
- 24 - The First Week
- August 2023
- 03 - Deadbeats and Manchildren
- 04 - It Could Have Been Worse
- 09 - It Could Have Been Worse 2
- 15 - Outside of Zion
- 15 - Outside of Zion
- September 2023
- 06 - 9/6/2023 Thoughts: Looking ..
- 14 - What Will Satisfy the ..
- 24 - I Hate Realtors
- 27 - Fiance vs Fiancee vs my ..
- October 2023
- 03 - Diagnoses, Pronouns, ..
- 08 - Entry 300: A Look Back at ..
- 11 - The Worst Kind of Tragedy
- 14 - October 18th
- 22 - Deja Vu and the Need to ..
- 24 - To Move Forward
- 25 - The Gifted Kids From Small ..
- 28 - How Often do You Think ..
- November 2023
- 02 - Secondary Traumatization: ..
- 06 - My Abuse Story 2
- 07 - Psychotherapy... My Thoughts
- 08 - The Dialectical Victory
- 12 - To Love, To Remember, To ..
- 13 - November 13th and Fragility ..
- 16 - Louisiana Saturday Nights
- 17 - Louisiana Sunday Mornings
- 26 - Between Two Worlds
- 27 - The Dark Academia Imposter
subscribeNihilist Cowboy
Language: EnglishTotal entries: 316
Followers: 63
About:
In 2011, this journal was started alongside my then girlfriend, we used this as a place to pass notes to each other. I now use this space as writing out my thoughts for the day.
Social Worker/Therapist, interested in philosophy and psychology, just your uncommon weirdo I suppose.