poeticgem
My sometimes coherent thoughts
2001
- December 2001
- 29 - 2 1/2 days before the new ..
- 30 - Later in the day ...
- 30 - Sunday Morning
2002
- January 2002
- 02 - Happy
- 03 - Reality
- 04 - Mom again
- 06 - Life goes on
- 06 - Guilt ... ???
- 08 - Parenting
- 11 - Random Thoughts
- 11 - Sharing my Poetry
- 11 - Some more poetry
- 12 - And the world keeps turning
- 13 - Sick of the BULLSHIT!
- 14 - Feelings .... oh, whoa, oh, ..
- 14 - A new day
- 14 - Perfectly Perfect! :-)
- 19 - Nothing exciting
- 21 - I guess anything is ..
- 27 - Another day in the life ....
- 29 - what's it all for ...
- 29 - Karma biting me in the ass!
- February 2002
- 02 - No matter where I go - ..
- 02 - Can't sleep
- 02 - Karma - GET THEE BEHIND ME!
- 06 - At my wit's end ...
- 07 - A little bit about me
- 07 - A few more faves
- 12 - Stuck
- 15 - Thankful
- 15 - GIVE ME SOME ANSWERS!
- 18 - LMAO!
- 21 - Excerpts from my Adolescent ..
- 23 - Stress, Love & Reality
- March 2002
- 03 - The world keeps spinning & ..
- 07 - A myriad of thoughts going ..
- 11 - Just another day
- 13 - :-)
- 25 - It's been a while
- 25 - Twice in one day
- 30 - Even after all these years
- April 2002
- 13 - Still around
- May 2002
- 07 - WHERE'S THE LIGHT?
- 08 - Trying to remain calm
- 09 - Things to be thankful for
- 17 - Things as they are ...
- 18 - Where to start ...
- 21 - The Good, The Bad ... AND
- 26 - Wish somebody'd warned me ..
- June 2002
- 03 - Changes & Challenges
- 04 - No disappointment here
- 10 - Life's special surprises - ..
- 13 - My Birthday
- 15 - Is there life after 35?
- 22 - What's up with me ... ???
- July 2002
- 02 - Hello ... I'm still alive
- 11 - Almost back to my old self ..
- 28 - 'Been a while
- August 2002
- 02 - the trials of being a ..
- 12 - Time flies by
- 19 - A REALLY WONDERFUL DAY
- 30 - An overwhelming sense of
- September 2002
- 02 - Do it good or don't do it ..
- 03 - 'Don't know how much more I ..
- 04 - Grin and bear it ....
- 12 - Changes
- 15 - Sunday morning
- 16 - Numb ....
- 16 - A moment at a time, nothing ..
- 16 - Desolate
- 16 - Sunday afternoon
- 17 - The first full day
- 18 - 48 hours PLUS
- 18 - One minute I'm fine ...
- 18 - God, help me, please!
- 19 - Trying to stay strong
- 19 - Still attractive
- 20 - Guilty conscious
- 20 - How much can a mind deal ..
- 21 - Thoughts, concerns ...
- 21 - Little shards of broken ..
- 22 - Put it in God's hands
- 22 - Hold on ... it's so sad but ..
- 24 - If you're thirsty and ..
- 24 - Copy of message I posted at ..
- 28 - Mixed emotions
- 30 - Random thoughts
- October 2002
- 09 - Hello again
- 14 - What an adventure
- 15 - Follow up - comments
- 19 - WOW, WOW, WOW
- 19 - PARENTING CRISIS!
- 20 - Being a parent ...
- 21 - Being a parent ...
- 22 - Standing my ground
- 22 - I don't know what to do ...
- 25 - 2 more days ...
- 26 - This is got to stop!
- 31 - For now ...
- November 2002
- 06 - Calm ...
- 11 - A new baby ...
- 13 - Another door closes ...
- 18 - No longer my baby ...
- December 2002
- 10 - Getting back on track
2003
- March 2003
- 30 - Life ....
- 30 - Something to look back on
- April 2003
- 07 - What's been going ....
- 07 - Feeling ... happy but guilty
- 07 - I wish he would call ...
- 09 - Experience is what you get ..
- 11 - waking up from a dream
- 11 - Trying to maintain the ..
- 14 - Not ready
- 17 - No smooth ride ...
- May 2003
- 02 - Desolate ...
- 19 - No way out
- 19 - For posterity's sake
- 20 - Something to think about ..
- June 2003
- 03 - PISSED OFF AS HELL ...
- 08 - A parent's woes ....
- 08 - One last note ...
- 09 - Monday
- 16 - How time flies
- 18 - No going back
- 18 - Just a small note for ..
- 18 - I'm a hazard to myself ...
- 20 - Ladies & Gentlemen .....
- 21 - STAY IN THE MOMENT ...
- 23 - The night before ...
- 24 - Doing good ...
- 26 - Almost through the first ..
- 29 - My weekend ...
- July 2003
- 03 - Despite it all
- 07 - End of a long weekend
- 25 - Enjoying my freedom
- 27 - A rush of emotion
- 27 - No one wins ...
- 28 - Details of a dream....
- August 2003
- 02 - Woo hoo
- 05 - What's up ...
- 07 - Feelings
- 18 - Another first ...
- 21 - Angst ...
- 26 - How time flies
- 26 - The First Step ...
- 27 - WHAT!
- September 2003
- 01 - Relaxing
- 02 - Breaking my heart
- 06 - An inspiring message
- 08 - Blue Monday
- 13 - Quiet
- 14 - Where did the time go?
- 15 - Woohoo!
- 15 - food for thought
- 16 - Done ... so very DONE!
- 21 - The more things change ...
- 24 - Student of the night
- 27 - Back home
- 29 - Ah, the laments of being a ..
- October 2003
- 03 - One door closes ...
- 04 - Getting things done
- 06 - another weekend over
- 13 - ENOUGH!
- 21 - Getting by ...
- 22 - Good News- Bad News
- 23 - 13!
- 27 - Walls are closing in
- 30 - Not a quitter
- November 2003
- 02 - Down to the wire
- 05 - Yes, I'm still here
- 06 - Salesperson - Me thinks not!
- 07 - Things are looking up
- 10 - Food for thought
- 10 - Feedback & Response
- 11 - Not in school
- 11 - Thought for the day ...
- 11 - Hope on the horizon
- 14 - Something to think about
- 14 - Rollercoaster ride from hell
- 16 - Saturday
- 17 - Beggars cannot be choosers
- 21 - Affirming Thoughts
- 21 - The Power of Prayer
- 22 - On the Dean's List
- 22 - Should, should, should ...
- 24 - Today's thought
- 25 - In God's Hands
- 26 - To Worry is Worthless
- 27 - Smile!
- December 2003
- 01 - One heck of an Almighty ..
- 01 - Thoughts to live by
- 01 - Back from Arizona
- 03 - A little more detail
- 03 - What's up ... 'wish I knew
- 04 - Things can always be worse ..
- 04 - Dad to the rescue
- 06 - Thought for the day
- 06 - All that matters ...
- 06 - Doesn't feel much like ..
- 08 - With or without him
- 10 - A simple fix
- 10 - Keep going - a positive ..
- 10 - More reasons to be thankful
- 11 - List
- 16 - 'Good for the Soul' ....
- 16 - Crickets and Scorpions
- 16 - talk to SOMEONE who ..
- 16 - Thought provoking
- 16 - Weekend in Big Bear
- 19 - Christmas INSTEAD of ..
- 22 - Whew ... what a day!
- 22 - The spirit of the season - ..
- 22 - Ok ... where to start
- 26 - The day after Christmas
- 28 - Chantelle's Home
- 31 - Heavy Heart
2004
- January 2004
- 01 - Day 1, 2004
- 03 - Second day of 2004
- 03 - If only .....
- 04 - Tomorrow she goes ...
- 06 - I don't understand ...
- 06 - What next ...
- 06 - turn for the worse ... what ..
- 07 - No quick fix
- 09 - Rude Awakenings ...
- 13 - Life is what you make of it
- 15 - Another day
- 15 - inside of me
- 17 - Who am I?
- 20 - can't figure it out
- 21 - in my head
- 22 - Damn, damn, damn
- 22 - A new day
- 24 - hello weekend
- 27 - Raise, Refund, Ring ...
- 27 - Thought Provoking ...
- 27 - :-)
- 28 - stay in the now ... why
- 30 - red skies at night
- February 2004
- 02 - so sad ... it's over
- 03 - Gifts
- 03 - Want
- 03 - Chew on this thought ...
- 03 - annoyances
- 04 - Wonder where they are
- 04 - Dream Interpretations
- 04 - Strike 2
- 05 - everything's ok
- 05 - not myself
- 09 - Chantelle
- 09 - 100%
- 11 - Well
- 12 - Food for thought
- 12 - nothing to worry about
- 13 - Looking forward
- 14 - I've been a BAD girl ....
- 14 - forgot to mention
- 16 - love and sweetness
- 16 - something else
- 17 - same ol' routine
- 17 - just thinking
- 18 - hurry up and wait
- 18 - such a good boy and ...
- 19 - OH HAPPY HAPPY DAY!
- 19 - I DON'T GET IT!
- 19 - Bite the bullet
- 20 - One thing at a time
- 20 - something to think about ..
- 20 - keeping a running total ...
- 21 - feedback from a friend
- 21 - some things never change ...
- 23 - bad feelings
- 23 - first time
- 26 - vegin'
- 26 - losing it
- 27 - something's seriously wrong
- 27 - IM Conversation
- 28 - what a day already
- 29 - A new look
- March 2004
- 01 - pieces of thoughts
- 03 - crappy mood
- 04 - boss wants to talk to me ..
- 05 - The set of the soul
- 05 - so far so good
- 06 - emotional rollercoaster
- 07 - Dad
- 09 - Monday, Monday
- 09 - final exam
- 10 - never ending
- 10 - today's thought - PERFECT!
- 11 - just great
- 12 - lazy
- 12 - Thank God for AAA
- 14 - sudden awakening
- 15 - Nudge the Balance ...
- 15 - shitty ending
- 15 - Moody Monday
- 17 - Something to think about
- 18 - obsessive
- 22 - the Monday after
- 23 - not feeling so well
- 25 - Better
- 26 - Friday
- 27 - Whewwww
- 29 - great day
- 30 - old habits die hard
- 30 - clarified
- 31 - toxic environment
- April 2004
- 01 - April Fool's ON ME ...
- 02 - mysterious ways ...
- 02 - Chance & Choice
- 02 - Interesting
- 05 - one more week
- 07 - even my eyelashes are ..
- 08 - Thankful
- 17 - Coping
- 23 - Rampant thoughts
- 26 - A thought to hold on to ...
- 26 - Schizo ...
- 26 - TRYING to look on the ..
- 26 - Wow ...
- 27 - Done deal
- 27 - Thought for the day ...
- 28 - Count Down
- 29 - Hmmmmm
- May 2004
- 03 - Starting the new chapter
- 09 - Hard to believe
- 11 - I DID IT!
- 18 - Unexpected changes
- 18 - feelings of ....
- 24 - A mesh of emotions
- 28 - Abandoned
- 31 - the last straw
- 31 - Not sure what to do
- 31 - the phone call
- June 2004
- 01 - on a good note
- 05 - Bonding
- 06 - Disappointment
- 06 - Questions never ending; ..
- 06 - Conflicted
- 07 - Not an E ticket ride
- 12 - your email name ... it ..
- 13 - almost 37 and life still ..
- 15 - 37
- 16 - At least he made the effort
- 19 - a simple thought
- 22 - A matter of choice
- 23 - It's all upside down
- 24 - Wish I could go back ...
- 25 - Hmmmmm
- 25 - the end is imminent
- 28 - What to do
- 29 - I'm sure of it now
- July 2004
- 06 - What a weekend!
- 10 - Looks like it's really over ..
- 10 - STAY IN THE NOW!
- 11 - Over 24 hours now
- 11 - 11:05 pm
- 11 - the clock keeps ticking
- 12 - Monday, Monday
- 13 - Numb inside
- 13 - SHUT UP
- 13 - Letter to Harry
- 14 - Pita Bread & the Bee Gee's
- 14 - If you look good ...
- 15 - feeling abandoned
- 15 - No quick fix
- 15 - Day 6
- 16 - Hanging on by a thread
- 17 - Just a bad dream
- 18 - discoveries
- 19 - public transportation
- 20 - The measurement of success ..
- 20 - Chantelle
- 20 - Momentary respite
- 21 - GET THE FUCK OUT!
- 21 - GREAT CD!
- 24 - Things are definitely ..
- 24 - remenants of a dream
- 25 - He said he would call
- 25 - Never showed, never called
- 26 - Help me surrender ...
- 26 - On another note
- 27 - Good evening
- 29 - Not the way I used to be
- 30 - Shitty
- August 2004
- 01 - What I want ...
- 01 - Life's a bitch
- 01 - Independent
- 01 - I can't believe it
- 02 - A mixture of emotions
- 03 - Courtesy or obligation
- 03 - Sad
- 08 - Something different
- 09 - In a funk
- 09 - This is too creepy!
- 14 - oh woeful lament
- 14 - Get a life
- 15 - Alone yet not alone
- 15 - And so NOT READY!
- 16 - Sunday with Chantelle
- 18 - All by myself
- 19 - time to step out of my box
- 20 - nope, can't do this
- 20 - Booty call or something ..
- 21 - so good at destroying things
- 22 - My thrilling life
- 22 - He writes poetry
- 22 - Positive - Negative
- 22 - love to hear his voice
- 22 - Can't stop thinking about ..
- 24 - dealing with the 'aloneness'
- 26 - Mixed emotions
- 27 - STUPID DUMBASS
- 27 - Feeling a bit like a fool
- 27 - What now?
- 27 - Email from Chris
- 28 - More email correspondence
- 29 - Boring weekend ... except
- 29 - Yet another poem from Chris
- 30 - Move on
- 31 - Computer Crash
- September 2004
- 01 - WHAT A FREAK!
- 02 - glad to move on & other ..
- 07 - Damn!
- 14 - Still alive and kicking
- 15 - One less thing to think ..
- 23 - Crazy, wild ... outta ..
- 28 - What's up
- October 2004
- 02 - Just living life
- 07 - Excited ...
- 08 - Nervous ...
- 11 - Disillusioned ...
- 12 - Letter to Camille
- 12 - Need some help
- 12 - DAMN REJECTION
- 26 - My baby's birthday & more ..
- 28 - To worry is worthless
- 29 - Feeling like crap
- November 2004
- 01 - THIS TOO SHALL PASS
- 07 - I stand here alone in the ..
- 08 - Rain Down
- 09 - Take me away
- 11 - Show me a sign, give me a ..
- 12 - I cannot think the way you ..
- 13 - Everything'll be alright
- 13 - For the record
- 14 - A good day
- 17 - The good, the bad and the ..
- 20 - Heart so cold
- 21 - Turn it around
- 24 - Sick of the bullshit
- 24 - Ups and downs
- 25 - Why the insecurities
- 28 - How time flies!
- 30 - Joaquin
- December 2004
- 01 - Let the games begin ....
- 02 - How to change ...
- 02 - without warning ...
- 03 - Tried my best
- 03 - WHY!
- 06 - Could it be possible ...
- 06 - Interesting quiz ... results
- 06 - It's ok - I'm ok
- 06 - Strong & Confident
- 07 - STAY IN THE MOMENT
- 08 - Disconcerted
- 08 - Can't ride this ..
- 08 - Doesn't mean a thing
- 10 - Stone Cold Fox
- 10 - Letter from Joaquin - and ..
- 13 - Realizations & New ..
- 13 - Eviction ...
- 14 - One day down ...
- 15 - Focus on the good
- 15 - Brand New Day
- 16 - Hurt
- 16 - I did it ....
- 16 - Chantelle
- 16 - Joaquin's response to my ..
- 18 - Wow! A new perspective on ..
- 18 - A barrage of thoughts
- 19 - Sunday ...
- 20 - Strange and confusing
- 21 - Harry
- 22 - Is there something wrong ..
- 22 - Not going to go without a ..
- 23 - Most awful dream
- 24 - Eviction & Christmas ...
- 24 - Alone - yet not
- 25 - A sign?
- 26 - Another Christmas over ....
- 26 - Alone again ...
- 27 - Joaquin - on a different ..
- 28 - Sex
- 29 - Acts of Escapism
- 30 - Hard to believe
- 31 - In with the NEW
2005
- January 2005
- 01 - Let it go, let it go, let ..
- 01 - Good bye - good riddance
- 01 - A love like that ...
- 02 - CHANGE
- 03 - Monday Monday
- 04 - Never so grim
- 06 - Here and Now
- 07 - Rainy Day
- 08 - A new poem ...
- 08 - I hate to say this ...
- 09 - Harry ...
- 09 - A night out
- 11 - Enough ...
- 14 - I knew it was a mistake
- 15 - All so overwhelming
- 15 - How proundly appropriate ..
- 15 - Letting go ... is hard to do
- 15 - Fave song of the moment
- 15 - 2 boxes down ....
- 16 - What to do ...
- 16 - GLAD I WENT ..
- 17 - Strangely ironic
- 17 - Got so many things to think ..
- 19 - Sad .... so very sad
- 21 - Last weekend in Cali
- 23 - Strange Dream
- 23 - Tick, tock, tick, tock ...
- 24 - Sucker for abuse
- 24 - Officially Official
- 26 - Sick of the emotional ..
- 27 - Should I? Shouldn't I?
- 27 - At Joaquin's
- 28 - Mixed emotions ....
- 28 - Last Day ...
- 28 - A dog of our own
- 29 - Tired ... so very tired
- February 2005
- 01 - Trying to settle in
- 02 - Still hard to believe
- 04 - Can't sleep
- 04 - Muse
- 08 - still think about him
- 10 - Phone sex and other things
- 10 - think about it
- 15 - V 'Day ....
- 16 - First "date" in Arizona
- 16 - DAILY MEDITATION
- 20 - As much as things change ...
- 22 - longing ...
- 23 - Another day in the desert
- 23 - Moments with Chantelle
- 25 - Finally ...
- 27 - Sexually frustrated
- 28 - Going crazy here
- March 2005
- 01 - The BIG O ....
- 01 - What a goal is for
- 03 - Sexcapades ....
- 03 - Anticipation ...
- 04 - Chicken ...
- 04 - Bound ...
- 04 - HELP!
- 04 - makes sense
- 04 - Coldplay & Red Hot Chili ..
- 05 - Master ...
- 05 - November Rain
- 05 - Must be something in the ..
- 05 - Caught ...
- 07 - A little more
- 07 - Fuckin' Fed Up
- 07 - My crazy life
- 08 - Calming Down
- 09 - Game over ......
- 09 - moving on
- 10 - Experience ...
- 12 - NO LIFE ...
- 12 - Pathetic
- 13 - STOP TESTING ME!!!!
- 14 - Happy - please let it not ..
- 17 - At last .....
- 18 - Reach for the sky .... ..
- 31 - My so called luck ....
- 31 - March 28 ....
- 31 - March 27 '05