Lilac lavendar2
Starting over
2022
- October 2022
- 18 - Deep breath in deep breath ..
- 19 - September 7th 2022
- 19 - September 8th 2022
- 19 - September 9th 2022
- 19 - rules
- 19 - Skipping ahead October 15th ..
- 19 - wake up moment
- 19 - october 15th evening 1st ..
- 19 - it's so awkward right now
- 19 - work bestie
- 20 - I knew people loved me
- 20 - Still weird
- 20 - Doctors appointment
- 20 - I'm playing the victim
- 20 - October 2nd, 2022
- 20 - October 3rd, 2022
- 20 - October 9th
- 20 - SURE
- 20 - blackout poetry
- 20 - resentments
- 21 - why?
- 21 - jelly roll need you
- 21 - Have to look for a new place
- 21 - so odd
- 21 - I forgot
- 22 - Friday night
- 22 - doing new things
- 22 - Dear Mike,
- 22 - proof he did love me
- 22 - Go back
- 23 - Still the same girl
- 23 - Well
- 23 - last night
- 23 - September 27th, 2019
- 23 - afternoon delight
- 24 - Just feeling super sad
- 24 - no more hope
- 24 - the truth is there is no ..
- 24 - jelly roll
- 24 - Dear Chad,
- 24 - no title
- 25 - looking for a new place
- 25 - sleeping
- 25 - Not enough meditation will ..
- 25 - Triggers
- 25 - the ring
- 25 - starting fresh
- 26 - what if?
- 26 - Plans
- 26 - Hug
- 26 - I see you
- 26 - 50 days
- 26 - Feedback
- 26 - I'm sorry
- 26 - I want to try
- 26 - I'm a joke
- 27 - ok so there is now hope
- 27 - He was alone
- 27 - The higher you ..
- 27 - Beautiful day
- 28 - Therapist
- 28 - so, didn't sleep
- 28 - Appointment
- 28 - How things change
- 28 - And I think to myself....
- 29 - I feel some type of way
- 29 - There’s a common ..
- 29 - It was very real
- 29 - I suck
- 29 - I forgot what I had
- 29 - I mean, I never really ..
- 29 - advice from a peer
- 30 - Babysitting
- 30 - I don't know what to do
- 30 - Sorry
- 31 - cry baby
- 31 - last night
- 31 - what if?
- 31 - my response to him
- 31 - he was so pissed
- November 2022
- 01 - I am not a mind reader
- 01 - If only they knew how loud
- 01 - Still impulsive
- 01 - Awakening
- 02 - I cooked...finally
- 02 - Just for today
- 02 - I didn't hide
- 02 - Appointment
- 03 - Equals
- 04 - Not sure what to do
- 05 - feels weird
- 05 - what even would I say?
- 05 - 60 DAYS BABY!!!
- 05 - tell me why
- 06 - sweet dreams?
- 06 - So last night there was a ..
- 06 - why
- 07 - Hah, I said he don't ..
- 07 - He did say
- 07 - Also
- 08 - just do you
- 08 - jelly roll save me
- 08 - Kintsugi
- 09 - so sad this morning
- 10 - the whole checking out
- 10 - Are you sure?
- 11 - a new direction
- 11 - Hospital
- 12 - He is ok
- 12 - he left
- 13 - 1st official night alone
- 13 - 22 more days
- 14 - Worse day ever
- 14 - how does a person
- 14 - I can't
- 15 - Still broken
- 15 - Feel so alone
- 16 - Hospital again
- 16 - Painful
- 16 - Food
- 17 - Past drama
- 17 - Am I tho?
- 17 - Legit concern
- 17 - 11/17/2022
- 19 - I want to go home
- 19 - MRI
- 19 - Would it be cheating
- 20 - Home
- 21 - Secret of change
- 22 - was healing
- 24 - Happy Thanksgiving
- 24 - Today is just sad
- 26 - this is me
- 27 - Promise
- 27 - feelings
- 27 - Mike's 1st song to me
- 27 - my song to him
- 27 - our song
- 27 - how I feel right now
- 27 - 140
- 28 - He came home
- 29 - compromise
- 30 - my dad
- 30 - She Jelly Roll
- December 2022
- 01 - I chickened out
- 01 - Just remembered
- 02 - Fuck off and die
- 03 - Outage in the area
- 03 - separation advice
- 04 - Dead man walking
- 04 - I have to be strong
- 04 - I don't want to start ..
- 05 - 90 days!!!
- 05 - New goals
- 05 - He didn't say he won't
- 05 - I did it
- 06 - I just can't win
- 06 - Way to celebrate
- 06 - Dear Santa
- 08 - dad came home
- 09 - If I jump off this ..
- 10 - am just so sad
- 11 - I went to my parents ..
- 11 - New black dress
- 13 - So it's not black
- 13 - excitement
- 14 - shoes
- 15 - 100 days
- 15 - Cancelling plan A
- 15 - He seems weird
- 16 - my posts
- 16 - Don't want to go
- 17 - Party
- 17 - Sad
- 17 - Store
- 17 - Hook up
- 17 - Love the heartless jelly ..
- 17 - public again
- 19 - Vicki
- 19 - 104 days
- 19 - would it be fair
- 20 - So apparently
- 21 - 4 more days
- 22 - 107 days
- 23 - Christmas Eve' Eve
- 23 - this is so true and I'm so ..
- 24 - Tonight
- 24 - Some things never change
- 25 - Merry Christmas
- 25 - sent to me
- 25 - I was sad
- 26 - Last night dreams
- 27 - 112 days!
- 27 - Quick entry
- 28 - On my own Barlow Girls
- 28 - guilt and shame
- 29 - blame
- 30 - too sensitive
2023
- January 2023
- 01 - Missing Chad
- 01 - End of 2022
- 01 - 2023
- 01 - 30 days or so private
- 01 - 30 days or so private
- 03 - Plan D
- 04 - Becoming
- 06 - 30 days or so private
- 06 - Ok so not private
- 08 - 124 days
- 08 - Privacy
- 09 - Prayer
- 09 - More anxieties releieved
- 10 - A successful person begins ..
- 11 - A word of encouragement ..
- 13 - Anxieties
- 13 - No more instant ..
- 14 - Ok so....
- 14 - Redirecting the energy
- 14 - Commercial
- 15 - Dear Chad,
- 15 - I will be honest, September ..
- 16 - My last birthday wish for ..
- 16 - Superman
- 17 - Sick day
- 19 - Dear Panther
- 19 - more guilt release
- 19 - transferring the energy
- 20 - a mess
- 20 - Found this old poem
- 21 - At the end of the day
- 21 - Tamara Tattles
- 22 - Dear Chad,
- 23 - doing the damn thing
- 24 - Employee of the month
- 24 - never pointless
- 25 - So best night ever...until ..
- 26 - First time for everything
- 26 - Smile sidewalk prophets
- 27 - last night
- 27 - Mom is in the hospital
- 28 - So about last night..
- 29 - Saturday night/Sunday
- 30 - So I was sitting in the ..
- 30 - He's back
- 30 - Evening text
- 31 - He is so funny
- February 2023
- 01 - Tuesday night
- 01 - Want me to pamper you?
- 01 - He's a tease
- 01 - Mindless game/naked ass
- 02 - last night was lit!
- 02 - 9pm clock in
- 03 - Bonus
- 03 - Great start to the weekend
- 03 - Call me Miss Cleo
- 03 - 150 days
- 04 - promise of more
- 04 - Givers and takers
- 04 - need advice
- 04 - So I am so not getting ..
- 04 - and again
- 05 - Last night
- 06 - I am just happy
- 06 - not trying to brag...
- 07 - so I wasn't fake all along
- 08 - big buildup
- 08 - early long shift today
- 09 - snack time
- 09 - Feedback
- 09 - What's the best thing to ..
- 10 - My dearest Mike,
- 10 - text
- 10 - Wonderful day
- 11 - feeling so peaceful
- 11 - Diary promp
- 12 - I get it now
- 12 - Tease pic
- 12 - hyper
- 12 - Best thing about the super ..
- 13 - My love is home and all is ..
- 14 - Happy Valentine's Day
- 15 - why did the chicken cross ..
- 15 - Actual chickens crossing ..
- 15 - Work was super busy today, ..
- 15 - When was the last time you ..
- 16 - feedback
- 17 - I will
- 17 - Round 1
- 18 - I think he broke me
- 18 - Pain level at a 3 now
- 19 - alarm
- 19 - I got my warm heart hugs, ..
- 20 - Someone asked me how I knew ..
- 21 - My brain is all over the ..
- 22 - Mike told me when I got ..
- 22 - 10 more years
- 23 - Finding 'my people' is ..
- 23 - syntribated
- 24 - So last night was so worth ..
- 25 - Bout to be super fit up in ..
- 26 - text from Mike
- 26 - Fancy dinner
- 27 - dessert
- 28 - Yesterday at work around ..
- 28 - Dear Mike,
- March 2023
- 01 - Work sucked yesterday, I ..
- 02 - work project
- 03 - Work yesterday was a great ..
- 04 - So this whole new living a ..
- 04 - He wasn't mad that I fell ..
- 05 - So yesterday was a perfect ..
- 06 - So the slight change of ..
- 06 - I just realized how ..
- 07 - When I got home Mike was ..
- 07 - insatiable
- 08 - I was right as he did wake ..
- 09 - Part of my recovery is to ..
- 10 - Yesterday at work was a fun ..
- 11 - Yesterday on the way to ..
- 11 - Best Husband of the Year
- 12 - Amazing night
- 12 - I am feeling so ..
- 12 - Weird how the past randomly ..
- 13 - So I didn't end up having ..
- 14 - Adults during the day, ..
- 15 - 1 more day until our ..
- 16 - Happy 9th Anniversary to ..
- 16 - So plan B
- 17 - Last night was FIRE!!! ..
- 18 - I am off to a late start ..
- 19 - Mike had to run back to the ..
- 20 - Yesterday's visit with ..
- 21 - Yesterday 6 people called ..
- 22 - Yesterday was a boring day ..
- 23 - Every one at work is ..
- 24 - So I caught the 'fake' ..
- 25 - I ended up calling off work ..
- 25 - Spent the day sleeping and ..
- 26 - So Mike ended up getting ..
- 27 - I have to go to work since ..
- 28 - Yesterday at work started ..
- 29 - So last night I stopped at ..
- 29 - I didn't lie
- 30 - The things he says to me, ..
- 31 - what is your secret desire
- April 2023
- 01 - yesterday at work sucked, I ..
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Lilac lavendar2
Language: EnglishTotal entries: 345
Followers: 15
About:
Starting over...and by that, I mean I have several diaries on here but can't remember a damn password to one of them. All of them were wrote at different times of my life so I had different emails, I don't even remember to check my current email let alone one I had in 2008. I am not going to hide who I was; I am only focusing on who I am and who I'm going to be. I started on here as Rimberlee, then I think Rimberlee2, then I think Lavendarlilac...so you can see I am pretty original with the titles. Anyways, I have to start writing again.
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