dandelion

the world inside my head
2018-04-22 08:54:32 (UTC)

spirals have no ends

i feel very shitty. thinking about everything. i feel like throwing up. not wanting to die is a bit more managable these days but those thought still linger in my head. i havent cut for a while now. maybe 2 weeks. i hope i can stop forever. sometimes i just want everything to get better and become a normal happy person and sometimes i just want to stay in this sadness. if i wonder why, its because this sadness is oddly comforting. its cozy and easy and you feel a sense of belonging. its toxic.


i feel so dead and numb at the moment. im getting so tired of myself yet also so tired of faking everything. tired of faking my emotions and being afraid of being me. tired of trying to find out who i am. tired of it all.

i also wonder what i mean to people. i feel like im just a person.

its hard to explain everything but today just feels so gloomy and numb. or its like every morning feels like this. and i dont know who to go to.




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