Therapist

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2018-02-22 06:26:27 (UTC)

I really don't trust myself at ..

I really don't trust myself at all... I have love self esteem. I have shity tasge of as whole guys. I never got a real date that I actually enjoyed myself with. I never had an actual good time with out feeling awkward. I never got flowers for just because. Because I'm not that pretty. You see. Self esteem. Seeking validation. I really wanted him but for what? So he could shot on me the 3rd time.... Great. Welll hes now dating a Mexican. Probably better than me. I have to work on me. Sometimes I think there really isnt anyone out there for me. I think so negative I feel so confused. I want to know him but then get shit on while he out taking her out on dates in a place I should have been but he just went for me as a rebound. I was a rebound he could shor on for when ever and I was his dump bucket. Now sadly have to flush myself out of it because I feel so stupid. Still am. 2 years.... 2 years am I ever getting over him. I didnt want to listen to him because I had shit to say. I honestly lost in this battle. I ahte myself. I really do. I want him. But he wasnt good for me. He honestly didn't change. I wanted him for the better but thAt is where I fucked up .... If I really love someone I wouldn't want them to change.... I can be a cold hearted botch face to face. But close doors I'm a goosh ball ready to pop of all sorts of moxed emotions in thinking he has him.. I dont know. I pray I wait for the right guy to come I'm just too stupid to go for it and feel so dumb because I have to work on myself so much.




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