yes i'm a bitch just not urs

U blew it. .
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2018-01-03 13:14:48 (UTC)

insomnia

i can't fucking sleep. This is so depressing. Im struggling to keep my life together. Hating it at the moment. I was able to secure some much needed time off. I hate my boss. My dad is sick. My uncle just died. Life is too short to spend it doing shit that i fucking hate.
I have no self confidence at the moment. I'm filled with anxiety whenever i think about or start to look for another job i can't even...makes me ill to even think about it. So that is why i'm up at this ungodly hour. I know that it has been a while since i have made an entry here. Im supposed to feel better having lost 80 pounds in the last year but i don't . I still have another 75 pounds to lose before i get to a "normal" weight. i knew that it wouldn't change, because i am still the same person that i have always been. I am still heavier than i was in high school. so nothing has changed all that much. But then again it has.

What was it that i was looking for on this LOA? Time out of the car. Time away from my suck ass job. Time to think and decide to do something different. Time to look for a training program or something that can assist me with that. Time to get away from the grind i guess.
Thats all for now. later.

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