My Letter To The World
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2017-12-30 04:09:20 (UTC)

Sort of empty sort of numb

Mood: Tired
Song: None
Color: Blue

SO today has been a very long day emotionally.
I don't want to go into it because i think it will just upset me further and make it worse but new years eve party's are things that i'm over and i'm tired of trying to make something that used to be really special still work and just getting shot down and disappointed.
I'm tired of double standards and accusations.
I tried really hard for a meeting of the minds and a fun time and a sense of community and unity and it just never works and this time i think there are only one person disappointed this time around...and that's me.
But what ever you know? who cares?

I finished watching Vampire Diary's and started Reading Turtles all the way down by John Green.
you know that empty yet completely full feeling you have when you finish watching a show or reading a book, you feel good that you finished it and your minds full thinking about it but your also empty because it's over.
That's the head space i'm in right now.
I think it was a tragically perfect ending.
Bonnie will forever be my favorite Character i think i relate with her the most, but with Alaric and Damon, Stefan and Caroline making very high ranks as well...it's a good story over all and something i may try to watch again at some point just because of how long it took to get through it because of the long pauses i had in between watching it.
I don't know we'll see.

I just feel like focusing on some fiction for a while the book, or some other show.... Today's reality was a sad one and i don't feel like dwelling on it any longer.
On the upside i had a lovely phone call from my Vampire friend this evening and talked with B today a lot as well which were positive points of a bad day.
I'm tempted to go get the puppy and cuddle with her for a while but i don't want to wake her and have her whining for hours in her pen after i put her back in it....aside from the fact that you can put a dog in a pen, it's like having a toddler around.