✉My Letter To The World✉
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2017-12-11 03:59:42 (UTC)

Trust Exercise

Mood: Tired but a little more hopeful today.
Song: For the first time by the Script.
Color: Fuchsia.

Today wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, which is what i said on the phone to a friend last night that i hoped would happen, you know when your anticipating something your not looking forward to, and you imagine it to be horrible but then usually it's not as bad as you thought it would be...well that was today.
Church, which was okay and Estabaliz came and sat by me....which is odd but wasn't unwelcome.
I slept the afternoon away, which i'm not even sorry about, i feel like i haven't slept all week and i slept for like 3 hours this afternoon and i think i needed it...needed the rest....though i did keep waking up when i would hear something loud but i would doze right back off which is also weird because it usually takes me a long time to fall asleep....and the weather was nice today and so i have no new complaints today.

Tomorrow i have lunch and bible study with Estebaliz and Carlotta....which should be good, i think it will be good for me to focus on being a good mentor to them instead of all my depressive thoughts.
also We are hosting a game night here at the house on Friday which makes me feel really happy and excited because we need life back in this house and i think it would be good for all of us to just have some fun and food and conversation and laughter with friends...
and i'm going to try to keep my trust issues and paranoia to a minimum.
and as it's Sunday here are the things i'm thankful for.

1. Family.
2. Hope
3. Strength.
4. Friends that are actually there for you.
5. Anticipation
6. Plans
7. Jesus Christ.
8. Laughter....even in the darkest to moments.
9. Internet
10. Creativity.
11. Writing.
12. Music without which i couldn't survive.
13. Traditions.
14. Good memories
15. Sunday Afternoon naps.
16. Photography and capturing a moment.
17. Taking the high road.
18. Being taught to leave something better than it was when you found it.
19. Health.
20. Being a Twin despite not getting to grow up like it.
21. Time and God healing things one day at a time.
22. A House to live in.
23. My car working and being able to go for a drive to deal with life.
24. Snail mail, both sending and receiving.
25. Being able to see past the pain to make this list and see good in things....today where i couldn't yesterday.

I think that life right now is one giant trust exercise and i have to be willing to fall backwards trusting that Gods going to catch me and remembering that he's got me and he's got us when we don't have our selves.