My Letter To The World
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2017-12-10 06:31:23 (UTC)

Rambles of a depressive person

Mood: exhausted
Song: You Found me by the Fray
Color: Orange

I wish it weren't December.
Weird right?
i don't know the same situations would still be happening weather it was December or July, but the fact that the holiday's are happening makes bad situations seem worse because this is a time for love, and good will and happiness and family and it seems like all we've had is arguments, rumors, fights, sickness, Tears, lies and rumors.
I'm so tired, especially all the sudden.
But i have go to sleep so i can wake up tomorrow so that i can go to church and face the muggle and probably end up watching children in that tiny claustophobic room for the second week in a row even though it's not technically my turn since i filled in for people last week, but being off in that room seems better than facing people that i shouldn't say things to...so it takes away temptation.

I'm afraid of changing into a person i don't want to be.
I'm afraid of losing myself.
I'm afraid of losing my faith.
I just don't understand why these things are happening.
And i'm not okay, and i'm not okay with this happening.
I don't like feeling helpless.
But i am.
I'm trying to hold onto something that is pushing me away.....like opposite ends of magnets...or at least that's what it feels like if that makes any sense at all which i'm sure it doesn't.... okay i'm done rambling nonsense.

Hopefully there will be