i just don't know what to do
2017-12-07 22:38:04 (UTC)
I'm really not sure what to say. I'm not very good at things like this.
I just wanted to say what had happened to me today and i don't know I guess just be able to rant.
So I guess here it goes.
Today I was walking home, and for once in a really long time I was happy and i was smiling, and i was looking forward to getting home and curling up in a blanket in the warm. and as i was walking i encountered a man, i recognised him as he had already passed me and had turned around. this man got very up close and personal and said, " do you want a good fingering?" instantly i refused and he kept asking and i tried to pass him but he had blocked my way with his body. I rapidly looked around looking for an escape but there was no escape. I kept trying to go around him but then he pulled out his penis, and reached out to touch me inappropriately, and I broke down crying. I thought it was going to happen i thought right then and there i was going to be raped. With all of the force in my voice I could muster I finally said "Look I am really uncomfortable and would like to leave." and to my surprise he moved out of the way and kept walking. With tears welling in my eyes I ran home and followed all of the steps needed such as phoning the police.
I just don't really know what happens next, I have no clue as to weather or not I am entitled to feel as shitty as I am, this man didn't fully touch me and all that was happening was an intimidation game on his behalf. but why can I not stop crying?
Tomorrow I will have to go to school and I will have to see my friends and pretend that i'm fine but I am really not. I cant stop picturing this man and remembering the way he made me feel, I don't know weather or not they will understand as to why it makes me sad as like I said nothing happened.
What I am trying to ask is, am I allowed to feel this way when there are many of men and women being forced into actual sex?
If anyone understands please respond, i need help.