Nic.

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2017-12-07 20:44:34 (UTC)

120717

So lately its been bad. My depression has been at an all time high lately. Its hard to even get out of bed or pretend like im interested in everyday activities. I didnt even go to work today because I barely wanted to get out of bed. Things seem to just be getting worse and I feel like im out of control. And I always feel like I have no one to talk to because no one understands what i am going through everyday. I want to just spend everyday wrapped up in a blanket and not talking to anyone. And the one person who puts the biggest smile on my face isnt even someone i can run to because believe it or not that person is my boss.
If you have kept up with my blog over the past years, you would know im a bit boy crazy. Although I thought now that im engaged that would stop. But it never does. So am i truly happy in my relationship? I really dont know. He is my bestfriend on this earth but i feel like we have such a disconnect as of lately. And yet i go to work and talk to my boss and its like a smile never leaves my face.
Things have just been bad...
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