Well how do I feel today? Empty. Once a while I am falling down. When I am here it feels like I will never get back up. But I always do but right now it feel like I never come up again. Right now it feels like I lost the rainbow. There's no rainbow outside anymore. It's just blowing and raining and it's dark. Mabe I even lost the sunset. The sun. The moon. Mabe I lost it all. For some days ago I was laughting a very good laugther . Now it feels like it was the last time. I don't feel like laughting. But suddenly I remember right now I don't have any reason to complain at all. Not whatsoever and right here right now I realize I have thousands or mabe million things to be happy for. My God this is stupid of me. The rain the wind and the dark is ment to be for heavens sake. Anyway I might as well have lost something. There's nothing I can do about this but I know I cope. I am a very happy woman deep inside anyway. Deep inside I capture all the treasures and memories of beautiful sunsets and moonlights and the rainbow. I am fully avare of that next time I might not feel the same joy. I am prepared for that. When I feel right now I am not depressed I am thankful and I will always be.