2017-12-07 18:21:09 (UTC)


Flynn and I met at an extra history class that my parents send me to. It's basically tuition. I didn't even know who Flynn was until August or so. Because that's when he came over to my neighbour Nicole's house to pick up a parcel. That's about the time he texted Natalie. That's also when I found out he likes me. People used to tease me about Flynn so much. They told me how much Flynn liked me. I was excited because an actual boy actually really liked me. After some time Flynn sent me a message and we got talking. Before I could even comprehend what was going on, Flynn and I actually became really good friends. He was friends with the rest of my girls too. We were like one massive squad and it was great. But Natalie and Flynn were something else. They got so so close to the point where Flynn would do anything for Natalie. Flynn and Natalie were inseparable and who was I to come in between that? Now as this was going on I began to develop feelings for Flynn. Real, hard-core feelings. Stuff that I've never even felt before. But that was about time when the bomb dropped.
Few days after I came to terms with the fact that I actually liked Flynn, Natalie told me that Flynn asked her out. Naturally she refused. Naturally. She told me that it was a secret and never to ask Flynn about it but the more I thought of it the more it made sense to me. Obviously Flynn would like her, she's amazing. Smart, genuine, kind....I can't even compare to Nat. The connection that they have is something that I'll never have with Flynn. I dream of it but I know I won't. Flynn is my best friend. I pour my heart and soul to him. But he never does that with me.
Anyways I decide to tell Natalie that I love Flynn and shockingly she was okay with it. Flynn found out on the 11th of November 2017. Natalie and Flynn were the only ones who knew. Nobody else did. Which was a grand mistake on my part. I'll get to that bit later.
I know Flynn loves me. I know he does but can it survive? Am I enough for him? Is he using me to make Natalie jealous? Did I also mention that all my friends think that Natalie and Flynn makes a great couple? Did I mention how much it hurts? Gosh it hurts so damn much. I don't want to be used but I also don't know if I should trust him. I don't want to be a toy. I don't want to be just a pawn in his sick twisted game. I don't want to be the side chick or the other woman. Sometimes I feel like I should just leave this. I deserve better than him. My best friend Andrew says that I deserve better than Flynn. Easy for him to say, he's got the girl of his dreams and they love each other a lot. Me? I don't even know anymore. I want Flynn but at the same time I don't. I don't know. I want love but it's so hard sometimes.