My Letter To The World
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2017-12-06 20:58:21 (UTC)

Turn off my mind please

Mood: Scattered
Song: Perfect by Ed Sheeran
Color: Red

I wish i could turn my mind off because it's going crazy while i'm sitting here in silence.
i feel like i can't express everything i'm feeling right now my emotions are all over the place but i'll try to explain.
well the choir concert last night went well and we sang well and Doc cried by the surprise which in turn made me feel like crying myself.
and while i was nervous about seeing the people and i was as i always will be socially awkward but doing something for Doc was worth it.
Even if i was forgotten until the last minute by everyone -_-
But that doesn't surprise me.

B has stayed the night and we finished watching stranger things, have played games and talked and was up till after 3 in the morning and i'm tired but doing okay until a few minutes ago...when my parents came home and shared whats been going on in their lives today which is just more Muggle drama with more lies and rumors and basically people trying to ruin our lives and no i'm not exaggerating.
Like once again lies and the hatred of people are going to uproot us and send us running when we didn't do anything wrong!
I'm so sick and tired of this bullshit.

But then here i am with a friend i don't get to see as often anymore and she's sitting beside me playing the guitar and we are both off in our own worlds, but it's okay.
But hearing her play is very nostalgic which is also bitter sweet because it reminds me of simpler times and when we were constantly together and music is a common ground because we all love it.

I go from happy, to sad, to angry, to apathetic, to resigned to nervous, to anxiety.
I'm all over the place and i just kind a wish that i wasn't feeling this way.
I guess it's about enjoying the good things and surviving the bad.

But i don't want to repeat the past.
Look where that's gotten me -_-