Screened In Porch

Life in general
To bottom ↓
To top ↑
RSS subscribe

my-diary.org tip jar

2017-12-04 23:50:06 (UTC)

Back to this normal here

So it seems.....he had told me he was going to put numbers on the mailbox....we had that delivery guy yesterday asking if this was the correct
house? No numbers cause they fell off several years ago. I remember when it was only a couple days...a couple week, months...I see now
how things let go and promises to fix them never kept can really make them so much worse. That mailbox looks much worse than just
no numbers now...

he also agreed to use the cheese cloth to put over the heat vents.....asking me to get it out so he could remember. I did what I was asked
right then laying the packets of cheese cloth on the bar in plain view. Where are they now? Who knows? He probably stuck them in a
drawer.....to forget.

We did ride to the grocery store today together.....I was ok but by the time we got to the car, I was not. So, when he wanted to run
into BI-los for one thing, I stayed in the car. They did not have what he was going in for which would have been our lunch...so instead
we rode to place in town to eat lunch. I had to sit in a booth...we were in there a while, the place became more crowded. Good food
though and we enjoyed our lunch. Hard to walk to the car after sitting there so long. But worth it.

Pulling into the driveway of the house and seeing the fenced in area of wild weeds, trees that grew there on their own by birds dropping
seeds while flying over...the over grown mess......some of which is over 20 ft high. Looks like shit. For real. That is too the left
of the driveway....with house on the right. On the right, by the house there is an area that once had mulch and flowering plants
that come up each year on their own. I have not been able to take care of it....and although they cut the grass.....neither of them
have used a weed eater or the blower in years...and it shows. The weeds there are going on 10 feet....some leaning to the right...
and others leaning to the left....just horrible. I rode into the driveway with him sitting in the car right beside me....and I have
to say that I find it so hard to believe that he can not be as embarrassed as I am about it.

We have money in the bank to pay someone. I called someone myself and I thought he ( husband ) was going to go ballistic about it.
WHAT? WHY IN THE HELL WOULD WE THROW MONEY OUT THE WINDOW....when I CAN DO IT.....and I WILL WHEN I GET TIME....
or WHEN IT WARMS UP....or. ....excuse three....or excuse four.....or etc etc.

My health is being affected by the nasty dust mite filled carpet.....and heating vents.....I feel like I am being eaten alive sometimes...
It is like being trapped in a world that I do not belong.

I remember when I met him....I rented a very cute house...both kids had their own rooms....porch....with a swing....nice yard....
never ever was anything a mess or nasty. When Hurricane HUGO came through.....although I had almost an acre yard, and believe
me there was a LOT of limbs...branches etc all over it....by that afternoon...FIRST DAY....none would be found on my yard...and I
and the kids were helping other people with their yards....we sat on the porch being proud and thankful we had power...
and no one would have ever guessed that just a few blocks away, downed trees....no power....busted up homes....
I have always been PROUD.....it is not how much it cost....or how new....it is how you keep it. I kept things looking like
a home....my kids were never ashamed to have friends over....

unlike I am now.....which seems so wrong....with all the damn hard work I have always done throughout my life....to not live
in a trashy environment.

Anyway.....today I was thinking about all this after our ride to the store and lunch.....after noticing that he laid on the sofa all
day watching shit like MURRAY and Jerry Springer....and JUDGE JUDY.....ALL DAMN DAY!!!

Me? Even tough I am experiencing some pain...and never take a pill for it.....
I washed clothes today....folded and put away.
Cooked dinner......

Tomorrow....take him to a doctor's appointment.

When is someone going to do something for me?

Does that sound selfish?

Profile