Ruinsofbeauty

Sleepless Dreams
2017-12-03 03:09:11 (UTC)

The Second Domino Cont.-My Grandfather Was Fearless

31 days after my mother died, my grandfather had his stroke. For days, I thought he was going to die at any minute. I felt sick when I was awake, and I felt sick when I was asleep. There was no rest or peace at any moment for me. The minute that I realized how serious it was, I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. It was even difficult to breathe at times. My grandfather was like my dad. He was like the Sun to me in our solar system. We all revolve around the sun. Without the sun we die, and that's how I felt about my grandfather. He was so modest and unassuming. He even had a voice that was melodious. If you looked at him, he didn't seem threatening in any way, but he was the toughest, bravest, most courageous man I'd ever met.. and he had what it took to slit your throat if you meant his family any harm. He was a survivor. And I didn't just think he was tough because he was mine. I'd seen evidence of just how tough he was throughout my life. He possessed an air about him. You'd find him inviting and warm.. Easily approachable, because he was very friendly, but there wasn't anything this man wouldn't do to protect his family and those he loved. Nothing. He was a WWll vet and spent 4 years in the service, fighting for a country that still hadn't given him all of his rights as a Mexican American. He was growing up in Los Angeles in a little neighborhood called Rose Hill. They were dirt poor. My grandma told me that he said they went to sleep hungry sometimes. He told me that he had two white shirts for school, and his mom would wash and press them every day,so he looked sharp. (He told me that story because, when he was in high school, a teacher pinched him in the chest area to put him in line. She had wrinkled his shirt in the process, and he said to her, "You'd better not do that again. My mother works hard. She washes and irons my shirts every day, so you keep your filthy hands off of them." I'm sure the look on his face reflected that he was very much serious, and she'd better NOT do it again.) I never saw my grandfather issue a second warning. You only got one. He meant business when it was necessary. He was quick and always had a solution. I mean, fast. If he were in a room filling up with water and had to come up with an escape route, he'd do it. He was always really good under pressure. He remained calm. I'm sure on the inside, he must have been panicking, but he never showed it. You felt safe with him because you knew he'd get you out of anything. I feared nothing in this world with him on my side. When he spoke of the war, I knew he had bailed out of his plane twice. He was a member of the Catterpillar Club and received recognition for bailing out. One was on fire, and he jumped into the ocean in order to escape. I think he jumped into the English Channel. I should have been paying better attention. He never told me this part, but my ex husband said that my grandfather told him he was the only survivor of the crew both times he bailed out. That had to weigh heavy on my grandfather's heart. He was the type of man who would go down with you, even if you only met five minutes ago. He never left anyone behind. It could be that the others didn't survive the jump.. they could have been shot at in the air.. He spoke of some men, being so panicked with fright, they didn't jump. That could have happened, too. They didn't have much time to get out. You had to be quick, and he had to put on his parachute. He was a tailgunner in a B-17.. the position with the highest mortality rate. He was a tall man.. 6'2", so he had to make himself fit into this tiny area, but he couldn't do it with the parachute on. You were supposed to wear the parachute during flights, but he couldn't fit. So, he kept it right by his side.. Even having to put that thing on before jumping out, he still made it. With his original crew, he always had a deal with them, if the plane went down when they too far out over the ocean for a bail out to even be successful, they would all go down together with the plane. If the plane became damaged or on fire, and, escape became necessary, you had to use your parachute to bail out. If you were deep over the ocean, the water was so cold, you would only survive for three minutes. It was pointless, because there would be no rescue, but he told me he saw countless men bail out into the ocean, only to die three minutes later. He asked me, one time, "Why did they do it, Dusty?" (That was his nickname for me. He never called me by my real name. If he did, it meant I was in trouble.) I told him, "Well, I suspect it's like the people in the Twin Towers. The building was on fire. The flames were so hot. They wanted to breathe clean air for their last seconds of life. They didn't want to die burning up. Death may have seemed easier to handle by jumping, because they thought it would be quick. Being burned alive wasn't something they were willing to do. Given the choice, they jumped. I think that's a decision you can only make in the moment. You can't plan that kind of thing." He was the type who could plan and execute that type of thing because he would never leave anyone behind. He even fought hard when it was his time to go.. and it wasn't out of fear of dying.. It was because he knew I'd be alone, and he didn't want to leave me behind.




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