Anastasia Romanov

Words Fail In A Crowd Of Thousands
2017-11-20 04:04:43 (UTC)

Getting worse

I keep going to sleep hoping that I won't wake up. I just don't want to continue with my life. I don't see a point. I hate myself so much. I'm a terrible person.
I've been feeling worse the past couple of days.
This morning I woke up disappointed that I'm still here. I was disappointed that I had to get up and carry on with my life and go do things I didn't want to do and go places I didn't want to go and talk to people I don't want to talk to. I didn't want to get ready and go to church because I feel like I'm being judged there even though no one has ever said anything. I feel like I have to try extra hard to look happy there.
I just did not want to get up at all. I wanted to spend all day in bed.
No one knows I am depressed. No one knows I have anxiety. I wish I could tell someone. I wish there was someone in my life that I could talk to. I wish there was somewhere for me to go. I wish I could take something for this. There are so many times when I just stop and take a break because I need time to recuperate. I was getting dressed and I took about 3 breaks because I needed to.
I've been wanting to write all weekend and now that I finally can I have nothing really to say.




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