Anastasia Romanov

Words Fail In A Crowd Of Thousands
2017-11-13 08:12:52 (UTC)

Helen

I watched the move "Helen" and it was so good. I really connected to it. It was about a woman named Helen and her life seemed perfect. She had loving husband and daughter, successful in her career, a beautiful house, lots of friends. No financial struggles or marriage problems except divorce from several years ago but she is remarried. So on the surface her life seemed perfect. It would seem like she had nothing to be depressed about. But she had been dealing with depression for 12 years without telling anyone anything. But then it got to the point where she couldn't hide it anymore and she had to go to the hospital because she tried to kill herself. She tried to kill herself 3 times. She would have mental breakdowns. She couldn't function at work anymore. Her husband tried to help her. He desperately wanted to help her get better. He didn't want her to hurt herself but he didn't know how to help so he would get angry at her for it. He wasn't perfect in the situation, but he was trying. He never gave up on her no matter how much she put him through and pushed him away. He didn't understand what she was going through but he still tried so hard even though he wasn't perfect at it. In the end, she ended up going through shock therapy to get better. It helped, but she admitted that she wasn't completely cured, she was still on medication, she sometimes had those dark thoughts, and she still had a chance of relapsing. I think it was nice to show that in the end, you may never be completely cured; you will always have a chance of relapsing and the depression doesn't just go away. But there are treatments available. I like the ending was realistic. It wasn't necessarily a happy ending. Her friend who helped her through the depression ended up killing herself because she had her own mental issues. But Helen was able to get treatment and go back to her family. She was never the same and she lost part of her memory.
I think this movie is so relatable. My life may seem like there's nothing wrong or worth being depressed over because I have everything I need and I don't have any traumatic event that's triggered my depression. Yet here I am, depressed. That's why I am able to relate to Helen so much because both our lives seem to be okay and it wouldn't seem like we have any "reason" to be depressed. But we are. It's crippling. I too am hiding it from my family. I wish I could go and seek treatment. Maybe if I could hide it a little while longer until I get to a point in my life where I am independent enough that I can do things on my own.
This movie really helped me. It showed that everything on the surface can seem fine and even if there's no "reason" to be depressed, it can still happen. Depression doesn't need a reason.
One part that really got to me was when Helen's husband was just realizing that she's depressed. He told the doctor that Helen is a successful, happy woman. And the doctor said, "Your wife isn't sad; she's ill."
I wish my family could understand this. I could never tell anyone about my depression because they wouldn't understand. It's so hard to deal with on my own but I never want to tell anyone. My family would never understand. I feel like they would just judge me for it. The people I really consider my friends are all away for college and I just don't want to burden them with my issues. It's been so long since I felt close enough to them to tell them anything personal. My new "friends" in college aren't emotionally supportive. They actually make me feel horrible. I know I'm in an unhealthy friend group but I don't know how to get out. I don't like how people just say "just cut toxic people out of your life." as if it's that simple...I am surrounded by toxic people 24/7. I can't just cut everyone from my life. I think I may already be on my to doing just that though.




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