Therapist

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2017-11-02 07:41:27 (UTC)

Almost 20

You know. Today. I figured I wasnt ready to be on my own. I am very blessed. I jist focus on the negative because the things I want I never have. Kinda. Like love. I don't see nor my family sees me having kids. I look back at time. I tend to look back and feel blessed I don't deserve any of it. I can't . I am very blessed to have working sisters. Smart sisters. Patient sisters. Strong independent sisters. I don't want to be lonely. I tend to look at everyones happiness and ignore myself because I don't trust myself. I annoy myself so much. I'm like. Stupid. I tend to just forget about myself. I tend to over think everything. I felt used. Like always. But hey. This was my karma. On to my next page. I'm very bipolar. I over annaluze things. I start to realize I'm the most pathetic person. I cry when a bill comes I cry because no one told me I was pretty I cried for being ignored. I'm always ignored. My opinion is invalid. I feel stupid. But its officially over. Adrian only wanted clousyre with himself. I just gave it to him so he wouldn't stop bugging me. Or would stop bugging me. I am up thinking of bigger things. I am seriously scared. I don't think a guy would truly like me. Nor would I ever feel comfortable. I feel very dumb. I feel very slow and just plain stupid. But I forgave him. His final wish. I'm seriously. Just done with Adrian. But this seems for real. Although I care flr him so much. I don't think he cared for me. At all.bits cool. Its not the first time in ignored and treated less than every one else. It made me smile to think I had him smile and all that. I seriously.wanted him but was embarrassed. To think he's see less of me. I mean question. Would he had stay if I libed back home.




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