Ren

Journeytobehappy
2017-11-01 14:03:09 (UTC)

Back to reality! chop chop!

I'm feeling better now. About last night.....i don't want to elaborate on that anymore. Past is past, lament it, feel sorry that it happened then next time try not to step on a trigger which is so impossible as life is like a mine field of issues unless i'd choose to stay in my room protected and feel even more miserable. Advice to self: keep going, it's not all that bad. It's just that, it's hard to remember the good times when you're in pain. Okay.

A little update:
I must have not mention Raymund here before as he isn't so much of a striking person. He's courting me for 3months now. I only know because he talked to me the night Vincent and I broke up for the upteenth time. Nice, kind...he's my childhood classmate as well. Ejhay knew about him Raymund doesn't know about Ejhay. He never asked so.....
So he likes me. I don't think i like him that way. Maybe i'll learn to like him soon. I don't know. It's not like i have told him i like him but still, i feel guilty he's waiting for something that isn't sure. Something so mediocre. He doesn't deserve that.

I can be incredibly flawed person in my own way. I've harshly judged Vincent several times without examining my own reflection.

In my defense, dating for a filipina on the countryside is so unfair. We'd literally wait for a guy to like us first then court us and if we don't get anyone, well there's not much you can do about it. Dating site is considered a desperate move for a woman. So average woman..wait, my past had condemned me to be an embarassment to any guy in my town to date me. So sad. Haha. I think i was pretty lucky that anyone would like me but i'm not too happy with Raymund. He's just so..dull. More dull than i am which is really dull.
*sigh.




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