My Letter To The World
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2017-10-30 18:37:03 (UTC)


Mood: Frustrated
Song: None
Color: Light Green

You know how much of our lives we spend worrying about things?
You know how much our our lives we live without actually living at all?
If your like me at all you worry about things and you life may have several contradictions....
I worry about working my life away on things that i don't truly love to do...
I worry about not being able to be successful in the worlds eyes by not having a typical job.
I worry about being alone.
I worry about being in a relationship.
I worry about having to do things like travel, and whatever alone.
I worry about being afraid to go alone so then i don't go at all.

then i feel like face palming and and i get frustrated with myself over how much i worry on a daily basis about my self, my friends, my family, the past, the present, the future, what other people think of me, of what certain situations look like and what the random people in my life say to me from small judgments about how i should do my make up differently, to grilling me about why i'm late to Sunday school again.... -_-

How much of my life am i living as if i'm not even alive? waiting for something to happen, or living in worry and fear?
it might sound weird but do you ever just wake up some days and go "Oh i'm alive" not in a morbid i want to die sort of way but in the sense of.... "look at this life i have...what am i doing with it? and why am i wasting it on things that aren't going to matter 24 hours later?
i want a higher calling, i want to live a life of purpose.
I want to do eternal things, i want to be a better person.
I want to have a better mindset.
I want to cut out of my life the things that shouldn't be there.

i think.... that i'm already alive so i might as well live like i am.
words that accurately describe this feeling might include.

You are alive....
You have this life as a gift from God and if you are not living as if it is than you are wasting his and your time.