Brandon

Brandon
2017-10-26 13:45:08 (UTC)

The Gay Mentality

If anything has become clear to me over the past month, it's been the gay mentality. I've realized that the gay community I am a part of handles relationships completely differently than any other group. We as a community, myself included, have a tendency of running from our relationship problems... A friend I recently met and talked to told me the truest thing I've heard in quite some time: "The gay mentality is that why work on something when I can find something else that may not need work. Gay relationships usually don't last because gays don't talk. They argue and when a gay guy gets told something he's uncomfortable with he simply walks away and ends things."

That's exactly what happened in my relationship. I made some mistakes, we broke up, I changed, he couldn't get over the past, and we broke up again (to save a long story. My previous entry explains what had happened). What we broke up over was not something that we couldn't have talked out. No one cheated. No one got physical. Priorities got in the way and were then straightened out. He's admitted that he just has a problem getting over shit.. but instead of sucking it up and working on the relationship together he decided to take the easy way out again. I feel empty again and unfulfilled. I risked a lot and made a lot of good changes for naught. I'm not going to change what I've done. I'm not going to go back on the changes I've made. I'm going to continue making changes to better myself and I know that some day down the road a guy is going to appreciate me for exactly who I am. I know that I'll be worth the time and effort to work through our problems and not feel disposable at any turn. I know I'll be able to cry in front of him and it will actually mean something to him. I know that one day someone is going to stand by my side through thick and thin, and I won't have to worry about them leaving in the middle of the night. I know there will be a light at the end of the tunnel and at the end of the day, I have faith, and that's all I need.




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