Jeffrey Varnado

Former Ebay Sellers vs. Ebay, Inc.
2017-10-18 12:25:53 (UTC)

Story 1 and 2


TWO YOUNG NEW POP ARTISTS by Rich Vernadeau One morning our two young heroes of the art world woke up and decided to name themselves. "I shall call myself FlowBear in honor of the great writer Flaubert..." His friend spoke up "And I shall be the artist Go Gone as a tribute to Gauguin!!!" The first young man spoke, "What shall I write? What shall I write?" His friend Go Gone suggested "Well...vampires and zombies are very popular right now..." And FlowBear excitedly exclaimed "Yes I shall write the new vampire epic!!! Move over Anne Rice, bye bye Buffy, tootaloo Twilight.." Go Gone beamed "And I shall paint the ultimate zombie masterpiece! I shall bring the undead back to new heights of garish glitter!!!" And the two young new pop artists gave each other a high five...
ANCIENT GREEK MYTHS REINVENTED: SAPPHO AND THE GODDESS OF UNCERTAINTY One lovely Greek morning Sappho awoke and discovered a strange scroll with a strange symbol with strange words in another language underneath it. Sappho shrieked "The work of a barbarian!" Thespia, her devoted disciple glanced at it, "By Hades, anyone who doesn't speak or write in Greek is a barbarian, great teacher." Sappho observed, "Yes, my dear, I suppose they are at that. Come with me quickly, we must race to the Temple of Diana and invoke the Goddess of Uncertainty for her help in solving this mystery!" And the two young ladies raced like Olympic racers to the nearby Temple of Diana. Upon entering, they approached a certain statue of a goddess, knelt, raised their hands into the air and Sappho beseeched her "Oh great goddess of uncertainty, what does this scroll mean?" The goddess hesitated, then revealed "You said something, I'm not sure what it was, but you did say something." Slightly frustrated, Sappho asked again, rephrasing her question "What on Earth does this strange symbol on the scroll mean?" The goddess admitted "It means something, I don't know what it is, but it means something". Sappho- beside herself by now- then asked "What do the strange words beneath the symbol represent?" The goddess pronounced "They represent something- words in some language other than Greek- awfully tacky on the part of whoever wrote them- but they do represent something. I'm not sure what, but they represent something." Just at that moment Hercules came in and said "Sappho, Thespia, come with me!" The two Greek maidens followed the legendary Greek god and asked him "Where are we going?" Hercules replied "We are going somewhere. I'm not sure where but we are going somewhere." (RICH VERNADEAU)
03/21/2015 10:29AM
REINCARNATED SOULS COFFEE KLATCH One morning lately in the 21st Century...MISS LI: Glad you all made it. So tell me about your past lives. JESSALOU: Well, you can't get me to wear anything tight around my waist this go around. I was a plantation owner's daughter- a Southern belle- back before the Civil War and those corsets I had to wear were so dang suffocating that I won't even touch a dress that's one size too small... ELAINA: Tell me about it, hon. I was burned as a witch in the Seventeenth Century and my ex-husband in this lifetime tried his damnedest to get to me roast marshmallows on our camp-outs and honey it just ain't happenin' MISS LI: I remember that in my last incarnation, I wanted to be known, but I did not want to be known well. Since 99.9% of the Earth's population never heard of me in that lifetime or this one, I would say I succeeded...JESSALOU: Oh girl, there's nothing wrong with a little obscurity every now and then. My Southern hubby paraded me around like a debutante before the Civil War. Got old after awhile. ELAINA: Well it beats being paraded around as a witch by an angry mob...(Rich Vernadeau)




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