Anastasia Romanov

Words Fail In A Crowd Of Thousands
2017-10-11 01:36:21 (UTC)

I HATE MY DAD AND I HATE MY MOM. THEY ..

I HATE MY DAD AND I HATE MY MOM. THEY ARE SO UNFAIR. THEY TREAT ME DIFFERENTLY MOST OF ALL. FIRST OF ALL JUST BECAUSE IM A GIRL THEY WANT TO CONTROL WHAT I CAN AND CANT DO. FUCK YOU. STOP TRYING TO RULE EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. ALSO MOM ALWAYS TREATS NIKKI AND CHRISTIAN BETTER THAN ME. YOU BETTER DAMN WELL BELIEVE THAT IF I WAS THERE SHE'D GIVE ME SO MUCH SHIT FOR IT. AND DAD THINKS I'M GONNA HUG HIM YEAH FUCK NO I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. ALL YOU GUYS FUCKING DO IS PUT PRESSURE ON ME AND NEVER CARE ABOUT MY MENTAL HEALTH. EVERY TIME I SEE YOUR FACE WHEN I DO SOMETHING WRONG MY ANXIETY ENGRAINS IT INTO MY BRAIN SO THAT I CANNOT UNSEE IT AND YOUR FACES KEEP ME UP AT NIGHT. MY ANXIETY DOESN'T LET ME SLEEP AND NO ONE CARES THAT I HAVE IT AND NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO ME TALK ABOUT IT. I KEEP EVERYTHING INSIDE AND I AM DETERIORATING SO QUICKLY MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY. I HAVE NOT EXPERIENCED TRUE HAPPINESS IN SO LONG.
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW UNFAIR MY MOTHER IS AND HOW MUCH SHE SHOWS FAVORITISM, LISTEN TO THIS: ONE TIME I NEEDED NEW SHOES BECAUSE MINE LITERALLY HAD HOLES IN THEM FOR MONTHS BUT SHE CLAIMED SHE NEVER HAD THE MONEY TO GET ME NEW ONES. THEN ONE DAY MY BROTHER ASKS FOR NEW SHOES FOR WORK AND "ATFU" AND BOOM HE GOT TWO NEW PAIRS OF SHOES THE NEXT DAY. NOW HERE I AM AGAIN NEEDING NEW SHOES BECAUSE THE ONES I HAVE NOW GIVE ME BLISTERS AND SHE CLAIMS TO NOT HAVE MONEY AGAIN THEN HERE SHE COMES HOME AND MY SISTER HAS A NEW JACKET THAT SHE DOESN'T NEED. SHE LITERALLY NOW HAS 4 FUCKING DENIM JACKETS. WHAT KIND OF FUCKING FAVORITISM??????????????????????????????????????????????? I LITERALLY HATE THIS FAMILY. I HATE MY LIFE. I HATE BEING ALIVE. I HATE EXISTING. NO ONE FUCKING NOTICES THAT IM HERE. I WANT TO CEASE EXISTENCE OR AT LEAST BE REINCARNATED INTO SOMEONE WHO IS TRULY HAPPY. HAPPINESS MEANING ALWAYS HAVING ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY SOMETHING. MEANING HAVING A SUPPORT SYSTEM THAT CARES ABOUT THEIR MENTAL HEALTH. MEANING HAVING PARENTS WHO AREN'T REPULSIVE AND DON'T SHOW FAVORITISM. MEANING LOVING LIFE. MEANING LOVING WHAT THEY ARE DOING IN LIFE. MEANING IF I DIED TOMORROW I WOULD DIE HAPPY BECAUSE I HAVE LIVED A GOOD FULFILLING LIFE THOUGHT IT WAS SHORT.




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