My Letter To The World
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2017-10-04 04:25:16 (UTC)

Good Dog

Mood: Sad
Song: The last time By Taylor Swift and Gary Lightbody
Color: Orange

Rascal, one of our Dogs is dying, He's old... 15 years old in Human years so what 107 in Dog years...if that is how you even calculated it. idk.
it doesn't matter.
what does matter is that this dog has been in our family for 15 years and he's old and his body is shutting down and my mom who is this dogs human, is breaking down crying understandably and thus makes me break down crying as well....
God i hate this...so much... It's almost like losing family.
The thing i guess is that Rascal a black Schnauzer...is was is....
a very good Dog, Perfectly well trained, can do tricks is protective of the family and barks and growls like a maniac when someone who isn't family walks into our house. (Even though he's never bitten anyone and probably wouldn't unless it was out of protection because he's a good dog like that)
He's the kind of Dog that Would follow my mom anywhere and everywhere she goes she gets up and leaves the room even if it's just to get a drink, Rascal follows loyally.
Rascal who i think only puts up with the rest of us Only preferring Mom and Dad would if we were sick sleep at the ends of our beds and seemed to be watching over us because he knew we were sick and not okay....Just a comforting presents there.

That's what a good dog does....
a good dog is there to comfort you because they can tell if you sick or upset.
They are loyal and stick with you no matter what.
They protect you, they are the watch/Guard Dog.
They make you smile and make you happy.
I think that they somehow know that that's part of why they are there...i think a dog can feel love and loyalty.
I think when you love him and treat him well he does the same to you.
There are some really good Dogs out there....and your luck if you have a couple in your lifetime.
Rascal isn't technically mine, he is my mothers... but i have grown up with that Dog in our house for a large portion of my life it's been a joke that he was like a sibling to us kids.
I feel the sadness in losing another good dog, Bridget was a good dog, Rascal was a good Dog.
But mostly i feel sadness for my mom, who will feel this loss the most.
I know that Rascal is just a Dog, but he's important to us.
I was very weepy today, the things with Rascal started it but then i just got to thinking of a bunch or sad things and then my dad and i got into a long discussion on death today which of course made me think about a lot of dead people that i care about.

Right now i'm secluded away, it's night time my head hurts from crying and my eyes are still stinging.
I feel like i've had to put up some mental and emotionally blocks because i just feel emotionally drained.
i feel so exhausted....but i think a large part of that is feeling the emotions of those around me.
i feel like the emotions when they are high weather positive or negative just bowl me over and then i feel like i got hit by a train....
what i need to learn is how to block people in the moment so that it doesn't completely drain me where i feel like i have to isolate myself to recover, but the closer i am to someone the harder it is for me to block them...especially when they are feeling high emotions

Here's To the people I have lost this year.
Namely Gene and a couple others
Here's to the people i have lost before this year
My Grandparents.

Here's to a couple of Good dog's we've had

Here's to still being alive and all the things we still have to live for.