Snuffy

Danielito
2017-10-03 21:11:27 (UTC)

Consumed

It's crazy how much finding a mate consumes you. It bothers me that I write so much about it. When I was married, I wanted out of a relationship, and now I'm just dying to get back in one. It becomes such a focus. I hate it.

I'd like to talk about other things. My music. My faith. My lack of faith. My daughter. My calling at church. My family.
But instead, I'm always going off on the new girl I'm seeing. And so far, it's all been meaningless. So stupid.

Would it be so bad to be single the rest of my life? Is having regular sex really that important? lol. As a person who strives to remain abstinent until marriage, it really motivates me to find Mrs. Right. I resent that. I resent that my motivation in getting married is sex. That's how it was when I was first married. It's happening again. If I were to abandon my values, my standards, and violate what I believe to be God's laws on sexual behavior by "fornicating" freely with the girls I go out with, it would eliminate that powerful incentive to get married. I could make a decision based on more important factors, rather than my hormones calling the shots. Love is blind because of raging sexual desires IMO. I'd like to be rid of that.

Of course, the church would say "bridle your passions" as a solution. "Be a master of your domain. Control those sexual appetites. Be chaste." But even when I've felt close to God and I've been living a righteous life, I was still incredibly interested in getting married so that I could finally experience the most coveted act by a male: SEX.




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