Ren

Journeytobehappy
2017-09-22 12:16:41 (UTC)

I'm tired

I thought sex would make me happy especially when it's done somewhere not in a bound spaced room. I had sex with Vincent today, along the river. He cum four times for less than an hour. It just made me wanting more. It's almost like i'm eternally starving but i have drained all my energy to get my fill of it.

What happened earlier made me realize why our relationship went down fall.

I arrived at D.......in front of the hospital. There were so many school kids around, giving me anxiety. I had this irrational thought that they knew i was so desperate for sex i'd fuck my boyfriend who cheated on me three times. I found a waiting shed and sat there. If Vincent is still not here within 15 minutes, i'd go home. Fortunately, no one was seating in the waiting shed. I sat with my back on the crowd. Whenever i hear a footsteps and crackling sound of the sand, i wished it was him. The first time i turn my back to look who it was, i got disappointed. So i figured, if it's him, he'd go near me and talk to me the way he always do. Happily.
And after a few disappointments, i saw him with his signature goofy smile. I think all my hatred had evaporated. He's that contagious. He gleefully ask if we're really not together anymore? I said not anymore while smiling. He chuckled. He said i look prettier and got more cuter. I casually told him while smiling that i don't want his compliments nor comforting words. He kept staring at me so i ask what's with all those kids, there's so many of them. He look around and saw his friend lesther. I think they're looking at each other. I'm not sure as i'm myopic. Vincent says Lesther probably wants to get my number. He also said he saw his uncle there and might saw us. "I'm embarassed to ride the motorbike with you. They might wonder how i was able to get someone like you" he added. The problem is, i don't trust him at all. Like dude, he's probably embarassed to be seen with me. I didn't complain. Instead, i suggested some other routes. He asked if i wanted to be introduced to his family. He still goes on about us being together again. I said no. I have a feeling he knows i'd say no. He just want to convince me he's serious about our relationship when in reality he's only serious of getting somebody who's decent to be with him. Like anybody decent would be fine. Again, i didn't say anything about this either. I want to have sex and i don't want to ruin my mood. I'm sweating so much, it made me self-concious about how i smell. I smell a hint of bad sweat. I didn't like it. I'm not used to it. I sweat but it usually doesn't smell. I asked if he can smell me a meter away. He said i will always smell good to him. You see. He's that unreliable in saying the truth. I kept this to myself.
I said i wanted to go to the cottage he's referring to the other night.
So we went there finally. But there was no cottage. Only a long river with long grasses and bushy medium sized trees.And there are two or three farmers with their cows who could see us. I was disappointed. So where should we fuck? We walk among sands and pebbles and it was so hot. It was a challenged looking for a place to fuck. Whenever we found a good place, somebody could still see us. But i wanted to have sex so bad i didn't complain when he sat behind me and began stroking my breasts. But then, he was the one who wanted to stop because a farmer pops out of nowhere. So we search for another place again. Maybe a better tree and a taller grass? Until we settled somewhere. This time i thought of having a standards. He says he's sorry i don't have money for a hotel. My motivations was getting out of my vajayjay towards my brain. I had a feeling he'd brag to his friends that i let him fuck me along the river. They might think so lowly of me if i let that. I let my cheating ex who barely can afford anything to fuck me along the river. That will give me a bad reputation. I'd be branded as cheap, desperate, sex-addict, slut etc.
I didn't kept quiet about that. But my ex doesn't understand. Yeah, because when a scandal like this happens, it's always the female who gets socially punished. I stayed on his motorbike while he collected grasses to lay on. I'd get in trouble for this i thought. when he realized i just sat there looking at him he stand up walk straight towards me and sit with his back on me. I rested my chin on his neck and planted kisses on it. He turned to me and dive on my lips. I was caressing his shirtless body, feeling his lean shoulders to his abs then down to his torso while we explore each others mouth. I missed this. i unzipped his shorts and i began stroking the head of his penis. It was dry but hard. I thought of spitting on my hand or letting him spit on my hand when the little hole of his penis began spilling a cloudy liquid after a few minutes. He was cursing. The liquid made it easier to stroke his penis up and down. He kept cursing. He asked if i would give him a blowjob. I said no. There's no way i'm going to give him a blowjob where someone could see. He stand up, get his shirt and lay it on the pile of grasses he collected. He asked me to come. i didn't hesitate. He layed me on the ground, placed himself on top of me and kissed me again. Then he put his hands under my blouse finding its way to my breast. His hand cupped my breast and played with my already hard nipples. I wanted more than this so i pulled my blouse up and he immediately sucked on it as if he had been so hungry for this. My pussy was throbbing. We were both interrupted when a sound of a truck was seemingly coming our way. He immediately sit right up, i pulled my blouse down and did the same. We were arguing if they could see us. When the truck is gone, he layed me down again and pull my panties down. I wasn't so sure about this but i was too horny to second guess. He

So we had sex. I think i was hoping i'd still feel like i love him. But it didn't happen. He kept saying i'm beautiful when i hesitate and it makes me feel like i'm being manipulated. It's just every emotional advance he makes, i take a step back.

After he came four times we wanted to clean ourselves in the river. We were walking and holding hands when he ask if i brought a mirror with me. I said no and ask why. He answered i needed my makeup to look pretty. Rude af. I was only wearing a concealer, liptint and filled my eyebrows. I pushed his hands away. He was laughing and said i can't take a joke. I said this is one of the many reasons i'm glad we're not dating anymore.
He pouted and said i used to love his humor.




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