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2017-09-13 22:27:20 (UTC)

Alex 2

Things were never the same after that bad date. I talked to her about how I felt about it and she just said she's been so emotionally bombarded by her custody battle and the upcoming court date and trying to get her house sell-ready and looking for jobs in Texas, and working extra hours to pay for the lawyer fees, etc. that she had a hard time focusing on the date. She says she has good days and bad days. It had been a bad day.


I was willing to look past it and move forward but nothing's been quite the same. She's been less affectionate and more aloof. I decided to back off as well, figuring she doesn't have time for a relationship and she's just emotionally unavailable. She would still text me and send me pics of her and her kids doing things so I know she is still interested in me, but she really can't commit to more than texting and seeing me once in a while. I can't expect her to be in a relationship with me right now. I expressed this to her, making sure she understood why I had backed off, and she agreed that she needs to slow down and get her life sorted before she can work on us.

BTW she went to her court hearing and the judge denied her relocation. I thought, "Ah. Finally. Now we can move on." NOPE. She's going to get a better lawyer and appeal. SMH.

It's so hard not to judge her because I don't know how bad Eloy was to her and I don't know how bad he is to her NOW, but she's acting out of anger and spite, trying to get revenge. She's blind to reason. There's no way a judge is going to let her take her kids away from their dad. And she's just going to spend loads more money on lawyers to no avail. Anyone can see that except her.

The people I've met who know her have only good things to say about her. I think I'm seeing her at her worst right now. I've unfortunately not had the pleasure of seeing her at her best yet. And for this reason, I'm still open to dating her.

Two days ago we didn't text at all. And all day yesterday it was radio silence. But last night, out of nowhere, "Hey."
We had a quick chat. Nothing interesting. She's really lame right now coz all she has to talk about is her custody crap, and work. And I'm sure she likes having me to vent to so I listen. Anyway, she tells me that she told Luz Wilson that we'd been dating "even though I've been a horrible pain in the ass the last few weeks." she said.
I wanted to boast about how patient a guy I am, and I certainly didn't want to say "Oh no you haven't," coz she really had been.

So I said, "Haha. Yeah well a good looking girl can get away with a lot. ;)"

She laughed.

So, I'm on the fence about her. I want so badly for this custody thing to get sorted so we can settle down and get to know each other. There might not be anything there beyond the physical attraction.

I'm also struggling to figure out when I'm being too picky, or when I'm settling. It's tricky. If I get too picky, I could be alone the rest of my life, bc the person I'm imagining doesn't exist. But if I lower my expectations, I could get myself into a relationship that's wrong for me. I could always get out of course...
When I first started dating after my divorce, I thought to myself, "I'm going to find me a girl with great taste in music, fashion, food, has same religious beliefs and same political orientation as me, is thin and fit, loves the city, speaks Spanish, gets along great with my friends, and has musical talents.

After 3 years of dating, and not having met a single girl that comes close to meeting those requirements, I'm now settling for a girl who respects my values and is marginally good-looking, and likes me back. I mean, there will still be deal breakers but it doesn't take much for me to agree to pursue a girl, whereas before, I wasn't so open minded. If she liked Country music, I was out. Now, I'm probably still out but I'd ask more questions to see if there are any redeeming qualities haha.

Alex has some strikes against her. She likes mostly R&B/Pop crap ya hear on the radio. She is more politically conservative than I am. She comes from a small town and considers herself a small town girl. She's also even less adventurous than I am, which is hard to do. I found that out on our last date. Tried to go on a simple hike but she wouldn't take the cool trail bc it looked a little dangerous, and we also had to turn back bc someone said they saw a snake. (see previous entry)

Anyway, that's where things are at with Alex. It probably wont go anywhere because that seems to be the pattern. I'm noticing that, with the exception of Colleen, every one of the girls I've dated have taken a considerable amount of effort and I've felt like I was compromising or overlooking things about them, and it has never worked out. With Colleen, she was nearly perfect and things were flawless and then she blindsided me by breaking it off suddenly. So what I'm saying is, this feels a lot like the others, where things are a struggle. I've heard that when you meet the right one, it's effortless. That's why I'm thinking this will go nowhere bc it's become a little clunky. I'm having a hard time keeping conversation going even. But like I said, I got nothing else going on, so I'll be here. haha.