Therapist

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2017-09-10 01:06:05 (UTC)

I'm not that smart. I am not eggar ..

I'm not that smart. I am not eggar to learn anymore. I don't know. I think and srronhly believe you are who you attract. I'm kinda lost with this new date thing. Adrain. I dont know. I had a dream I kissed Antonio. Idk woke up strange. Sometimes I think I'm the problem. I am the problem
I'm not an adult. Nor a teenager. I dont know. I expect so much. Maybe because my family expects so much from me. I now work at a day care. I honestly dont think there's video games. I like to go out. But not drinking or getting high. I do. But with people I feel comfortable with. Adrian still does the same shit
But maybe I'm not used to it. He's been getting snaps from him smoking weed. I should have never said that. I am not smart. Nor am I bright. I find myself thinking. Once a cheater always a cheater. I don't know. I don't feel special. At all.... I would think a boy friend would buy you flowers. I never actually got flowers... Never have. Or a guy actually wanting to go out and do fun things. Having a friend. Funny. Smart. I'm not that. I want to. I feel blessed having friends who check up on me. I do. I miss... Being care free. I think to much about myself and what others think of me. And for what? 90% of people don't care 10 percent people are glad you have them... And I strongly believe that. I did this to myself. Idk if Adrian is getting it. Or we are both misunderstood. I think that's the problem. Maybe next time I will take the blunt. But I don't think this guy wants to go out. Or post on Snapchat. I don't know. He doesn't know what I like. I find myself asking the questions. And I can't tell him that because for one he thinks I'm judging him. Then... Makes him feel horrible ... I live by. You are what you attract...




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