My Letter To The World
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2017-08-26 02:00:04 (UTC)

Freedom Friday

Mood: Relieved, Guilty, Conflicted, Free
Song: Pioneer By The Band Perry
Color: Sunset orange

So I'm obsessed with this Band Perry song and want to know the whole thing word for word.
I feel this. And you gotta love that, a song that you can feel and that you relate with or wish you were more like.
listen to it.

So My Grandmother Moved out, she's still not speaking to us....which as far as i'm concerned is fine...as i'm angry at her.
But she literally been gone what two days? and has already put a down payment on an apartment in Hobart and listed all the stuff of hers that she wants back (which i'm all like go for it, good riddance to her ugly furniture....)
But it feels a lot like a divorce if that makes sense at all.....
But i feel so much better that she's going to be in her own place, no more blow up screaming yelling and being horrible things will happen and she won't be here to rant and rave about politics and religion and here to constantly dump on me.
She won't be here to make the girls upset and well.... i just think a lot of the pressure and a lot of the negative atmosphere will be gone...
and maybe eventually things will be better..... cause we won't be living under the same roof, but i'm still contemplating weather or not i want to have a relationship with her and talk to her after this.... i know that i should right? don't want to have regrets ect.
But right now....i'm more regretting letting her get to us and effecting us so much and all the drama and crap she did.
So....i'm going to give it some time before i make a decision. (and your welcome to send me in some of your thoughts on this)

But for now....the emotions i'm feeling most are Relief that she's not here.
Anger for how she acted.
Sad for my Dad who i know has to feel stuck in the middle.
and then....a bit of guilt for being so relieved that she's gone....it's very freeing.
It's crazy how confined and oppressed we felt without even realizing the extent.... i mean we did a little but sheesh....
I don't know what is the right thing to do say and feel in this....it's complicated and conflicting.
I know that i'm glad she's not here to be emotionally abusive to all of us.
But i also know that she is family and that... it isn't over because she is family.
But then again she has family right now that she refuses to talk to or have anything to do with...so maybe we all are added to that list.
That is all on her though....shes the one who refuses to talk to us and it's her choice if she chooses to break relationship and push away all those who care about her...she's gonna end up dying alone and it'll be her own doing and that's sad.

Hopefully we all....her included find some closure and some peace.