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2017-08-07 19:38:16 (UTC)

My mother suffocates me

I usually dye my mother's hair twice a month and I am not a hairdresser. Believe me it is not an easy job. Today I wasn't in the mood of doing the job and then I suggested that we could do it tomorrow afternoon but she insisted that I should do it today... So, I said while I was doing the job that I don't feel like asking my daughter to do that for me because it is too much considering that she is not a hairdresser. My mother complains about everything. But then today I felt obliged to do that .

She is always buying something and spending money. Why she doesn't save some of that money and go to the hairdresser instead of spending the money in silly small decoration items for the house. It annoys me deeply because she senses that I don't like to do that and even though she forces me to do that.

I am a bit tired of my mother and her ways. She is obsessed with organization... She cleans her wardrobe when she can and she is always putting fragrance or air freshener in the house and in the toilets. Now she made something to put in the toilet paper roll. It is too much... It annoys me. She dries the toilet sink every time she uses so only her uses her toilet... I could list the amount of things I don't do as a housewife and I am still live. I am still alive...

What happened today made me think I need to be away from her until I need to go to the supermarket. I should love my mother instead she suffocates me with her ways of dealing with me. I feel she is using me.

There are more things that are happening that I don't tell here because I feel it is too much...

Anyway, I just finished ironing and now I am here again. I had my coffee and bread and I already spoke to my husband about the episode.

I am feeling lonely again. Although, I speak with my husband through the camera I miss having a married life as we used to have. My husband was so unhappy here in Brazil and in his last job that I am not sad he is back in England.

Right now, I am a bit sad. I wish things will change though.

Good energy to all of us.