rainy

My heart in a knot
2017-08-02 19:39:27 (UTC)

Hormones

I feel like I can officially say that the majority of my problems are due to changes within my hormone system during the course of my cycle. Today for example I hit a really low point, that was when I wrote my last entry. Since then I've picked myself back up and realized that I'm stressing and worrying too much about things when I still have a lot of power to fix things even though things seem utterly hopeless at times.


I put in around 30 job applications today, some were for jobs I have no interest in but I feel at a lost for what to do because I can't make any guarantees about getting any of the jobs. The reality is that a year ago I messed things up and quit jobs that I should have never quit, that's why I keep saying I'm in "damage control" mode as I try to get through this. One thing for sure is that I will have to stick with this diet.

Right now my diet is the only thing that is going to save my life, so at this point it's no more slip ups. That means no rice, no grains, no sugar, no soy, no wheat, no processed foods.... the list goes on, I've started this before and last month I had done an amazing job to the point that I didn't even crave bread, however towards the end I started to feel amazing and the minute that happened I started to crave healthy junk food, and of course I gave unto my cravings. Well I'm at a point now where I know I can no longer give into my cravings and I need to stick with it. Despite being down to 103 I have to stick with this diet until my body has evened out and things are better.


Don't worry though I'm still eating salmon and eggs but for right now I'm cutting back on the eggs because it looks like my diastolic blood pressure has risen and it has me concerned so I'm going to cut back on some of the fats I've been having.




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