rainy

My heart in a knot
2017-07-20 20:13:29 (UTC)

This path

I'm just laying here about to go to sleep soon but I wanted to come and write really quickly because a lot of stuff is on my mind, particularly with all the decisions I've been making in the last 3 months and me questioning rather or not I've been thinking with my brain or just following my emotions. Not only that but everything that has happened in the last year and me finally waking up from the trance I've been in my entire life, it's very hard for me to see my life for how it currently is and I'm worried if coming to that realization now is what has caused me to make decisions without fully thinking of the consequences.

My current job is about to be experiencing some cut backs and it may effect me negatively, I really won't know yet until next week. In the meantime I'll be finishing this weeks work load tomorrow early in the morning. I should be hearing back from the other job I applied for by tomorrow but it's possible I won't because it won't make a full 2 weeks until Monday since they got all of my information but hopefully I get a yes or a no tomorrow, either way I will move on with my life. If my current job has to start cutting back staff and they cut me then I also won't be upset over that as long as they give me enough time to find another job. Things seem to be moving very slow for me lately when I've been telling myself I need to be moving a lot faster right now in order to reach my goals but another part of me looks back on my unstable childhood and wonders if I can recover from that in order to be the successful person I need to be.


The other day while I was still sick I decided to make turmeric tea, I've had it once before but was never able to determine if it helped or not, but this time I saw an almost immediate improvement in my symptoms.... I now suspect some type of inflammation happening in my body that may be flared by something, maybe food or maybe something else, but turmeric is an anti-inflammatory spice and even though it taste terrible I'm still able to drink it... all I know is that it seemed to have worked a miracle for me when I recently took it, before it had felt like my thyroid was bothered, I think from the grains I had eaten or maybe something else, either way the turmeric seemed to help... I'll be drinking more in the future to see if it continues to have a positive effect on me.

I would post the recipe but it's time for me to start heading to sleep because I want to show up at work early tomorrow morning.




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