Therapist

[email protected]
2017-07-19 03:59:25 (UTC)

Thank you

So. I'm very insecure. I'm scared. To fall for the wrong guy again. I'm raising up my gaurd but preparing myself to not fall so fast. So easily. Not crazy.... Afriad that. If I open up again. I've been on tinder. Yes. Tinder I swipe left thinkong I'm not good enough for the really hot guys. But then. I realize how insecure I am. How lonely I am. But in reality I'm proud I never text you know who. I'm proud I held my ground. To think . . of Adrian of a dead smelly fish. I was holding on... He was stinking me up. So I let him go. Although he left me a little smelly. Doesnt mean much. I'm just a smelly girl now. But I wont smell bad for ever. .not every guy is the same. But I keep asking myself why don't deserve a great humble guy. Because I'm crazy. I'm jelous. I provoke that . I played myself. But yes. Ill smell like dead fish for a while. Which makes me scared to go hug the other fish or any other. Since my bad smell will cause disaster. I need help. I know I do. I need mental help. Ive been like this since I was 12. I'm just drowning in my own smell. And now an even stinky smell. I don't feel bad about Adrian. I'm slowly letting go. I've been on tinder. And ive been talking to this guy. Who I belive is way out of my league and may leave me like the other dudes. Or call me crazy. Or insane. Or mean. Or over think it. I try not to. Over think. I try. But not one guy ever comforted me the right way... But make then push me around ... I'm not letting him. He asked for my nimber I'm just to scared to give it to him. He seems loke a great guy. But I feel like I'm not that great girl . I'm scared hed find me controlling. Slow. Stupid. Not motivated. All these negative things I brought myself in any kind of relationship in just teally scared. To scared. I live in fear and thats just bad. I'm trying not to let my emotions control my wprds... Ots just hard. Its hard. I need to have patience. This guy works in law! Adoption agencies. He loves family. He's majoring in nursing. He's funny and kind of a dork! I'm just scared I might ruin it like I always do. So I'm keeping it short simple. Trying to keep myself busy. I'm just scared.I nedd friends. Not a guy that only thinks I'm lretty. I want this guy to think I'm smart. And responisble. This week has been a blur! I just need help. Mental help. I'm not healthy... What's so ever. This guy works out. He's brilliant. And funny. And really sweet. But I'm acared. He'll mess up and our true colors show or I read all his mix signals. Only for a friend. I look at him and think. I want better. I want to be helpful. I want to give him like cookies and just fat him up lol like bring the best women out of me. I'm just really nervous and socially akward when it comes to guys. I want him to think I'm awesome. Hide all these insecurities with humor. Even if in dying inside. I'm so scared... I'm scared . if he walks away then ok. But if I walk away. I'm going to need mental help. So far. I've not gone crazy nor weird just yet. I'm scared when he meets me. He might change his mind ... Like the others... I'm scared. I havent gave my number yet. I'm just scared...




Ad: