Bluebell

The other side of the coin
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2017-07-18 22:44:02 (UTC)

Change could be good

Hello again!

It is currently 7.25 p.m. It is cold and I was in bed when I decided to come here again. I am anxious thinking about the future and about what I am at the moment. It is so difficult to accept my life as it is right now... I had a pretty normal day but anxiety starts really at night when I think about things I would like to achieve and when I think about my age. Time has flown and I feel empty sometimes just like now.

These past days without internet connection I had to concentrate on my life as it was routine and so on. It made me feel a bit fed up but I really thought that I was doing fine. I am in a good mood but I would like some change. I have been waiting and waiting for change but I know it will take sometime.

My husband is miles away and I have been raising my daughter alone. I am glad she is growing and that she is most of the time a good girl, a good adolescent. I wish I could offer more to her and if I had to rewrite my past I would do everything different this time. I guess so.

Well, thinking like that I guess it is wrong... I just realized that. I did what I thought it was right for us in the past.

I wish that my husband was here with us but I still hope that it will happen in the future. That is why I write. I want to change my story. If I change I am pretty sure that I will write here one day.

But for now I am anxious and feel a bit empty as well. I know these feelings come and go... For sure, they will have to go to give space to other good feelings. Tomorrow is another day in the journey I write...

Good energy to all of us!

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