My Letter To The World
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2017-07-10 15:45:53 (UTC)

Some of the Random

Mood: Tired
Song: I didn't know i could feel this way from Lady and the Tramp 2
Color: Light Blue.

When a large group of people leave your house, or when you've spent a lot of time with people and then they clear out, leave and are gone and you can sort of relax and breathe and your alone with your thoughts, it's part a relief and then it's this profound silence... a loneliness that you don't even realize is there until the people that aren't usually there that you got used to being there temporarily are gone.
And now you have to get used to things being the way they usually are...

I feel it in the pit of my stomach walking through my newly evacuated house which the mission team cleaned and left this morning and walking through the house that was holding 11 extra people...which now holding just my family feels empty.
It's a strange relief and loneliness.... i never would have guessed that i would feel this way.
I will miss them, they are amazing people but i will like having...a normal sleeping schedule back....ugh i hate 6AM.

You know how most people have at least one awkward bone in their body???
well i believe that i have at least 6 six awkward bones because i'm just a weird and awkward human being.
And i don't know if this is a real phobia but i have a real fear of being in awkward situations where things are unknown or where i may have to make small talk.... *Shudders* i can talk about anything with anyone i think... life, death, religion, politics, family, Friendships, Fandoms, Books, movies, TV, Nature, psychology, personality's paranormal, anything really... but not just pointless small talk work and the weather.

"when you look over your shoulder for a minute i forget that i'm older, i wanna dance with you right now."
The line that keeps running through my head that i wish someone would sing to me.

okay with those two sappy lines that i'll regret writing... i'm going to end this entry.
I have 3 Children to keep up with, they are throwing beach balls all over the house -_-
eight and eleven year old's plus like a 6 year old.