2017-07-02 01:49:20 (UTC)

Maybe I need some time for myself.

Getting headaches from my project. Can't get to even get myself to message him in this few days. All packed up inside and a kind of frustrated while writing the proposal.
I'm not smart so I need extra effort to make sure that my work is acceptable. I even got some comments from my friends that I'm not really in love.
It got me more frustrated when I heard this. Probably it's because I can't really control my temper at that moment, but later when I went through some thinking, I confirmed that I was really in love with him.
Probably it's because I held back too long after I broke up with my ex about 4 years ago and didn't want to be in a relationship until now.
It was hard for me when we broke up suddenly and I couldn't let it go. I held those feelings inside me for years without telling anyone until last month I received an invitation to his weeding.
Then only I realized that I was the only who never moved on, I kept on looking back. Even though I couldn't make it to his weeding due to some work issues, I still wished him and his wife happiness.
That was the time when I really let go of everything that had held me back all these years and never felt like this before.
I was so stupid not to notice, not to let go, never moved on and kept looking back at nothing and wasted my time.