Wr1tt3n0ne

Bunches and bunches
2017-06-26 16:46:08 (UTC)

Do You Understand Me?

There is a particular pet peeve I have about being understood. When I embark on a relationship with anyone for any reason, I feel the meat of the interaction be it for friendship or romance is found in understanding. Meaning I understand them, even if I don't see it their way and they understand me, even if it is not what they would have me say. In times when I find myself relating with near opposite personalities, this tenet is sacrosanct. If I could not fathom what my other meant, how could I care or love them?


That means when I enter into a relationship, be it friends or more with anyone I am essentially promising them that I will try my best to ascertain what they mean and I will try my best to be understood. To me, this is bare bones foundation and those who live in relationships where they don't understand their friends or lovers are quite the mystery to me. I could not love without understanding. That doesn't mean that once I catch on, that I am on board with their views. Far from it, I reserve me right to hold opposing to merely differing views, in addition to possibly agreeing when I do reach an understanding with them.

It very rarely happens that I don't understand on a global scale what my friend or lover is trying to convey. I may openly reject their interpretation, refuse to get into the minutiae, or on global grounds leave the relationship. However they are always understood by me. And I genuinely hope that extends both ways. I certainly try and talk and express myself as clearly as possible even as my insight into myself expands and changes. I am the antithesis of self-contained.

In the grand, and I wish to insert the word stupid here, way I broke up with that guy. He said some trifle to me and I said plainly in so many words that I didn't understand. He said that was okay. I said no, it really wasn't. I stand by that assertion. The basis of all interactions, let alone relationships, is mutual understanding. If you're not willing to explain there is, as they say, no there, there. Perhaps my need to understand and be understood is pathological, I certainly feel compelled at some odd times, say mid break up, to ascertain precisely what is meant. I can see how to most people that drive, especially at that moment, would be something of non sequitur.




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