Screened In Porch

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2017-06-23 00:23:10 (UTC)

Thinking too much...

As I recall after giving it much thought and going back in my other journals to the time that event took place....I was under a lot
of stress back then. I was looking for a "safe" place to land from time to time where I could listen to music, talk and hang out.
That place was the place I had done just that for a long time. I was not going on and on to those guys about my home life. But
they must have saw "sitting duck" on my forehead to think it was okay to do that too me. I know my friend who lives there has never
brought it up, never questioned it. I am almost convinced that he was passed out himself in the other room and was not a part of it.
But like another old friend who lead me down a similar path, neither of them had a problem continuing a friendship with these
people. I would have never spoken to them or allowed them inside my house or anything ever again if the story was turned around
where they did something like this or even close to any of my friends. I now am very sure however that I hope I never have to be
around any of the damn loser people. And if they ever run their mouths, the truth will come out. They were in the wrong. I was
not. People are gonna talk. Of course find something to talk about that will ruin someone's life or relationships by telling part of
it and not all of it. If this is what has happened...after thinking long and hard about all this. I have only myself to blame. I should have
never trusted any of them. EVER! Live and learn.

So, it rained again today. I have been in pain off and on but managed to get the laundry done and made an appointment with
the eye doctor for next Tuesday.

Been extremely worried about all this memory coming back thing recently. But if this event is any part the reason for anyone in
my life to put distance between us, then I have to wonder just how much did they care about me in the first place? Anyone that
really know who I am and where I come from knows that I would have never behaved in that manner with anyone....ever.

So, with all that behind me. All I can do is wait for someone to bring it up. If anyone dares to do so. If they want this to be the
reason that they walk away. Then fine. Walk.

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