✉My Letter To The World✉
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2017-06-08 04:18:59 (UTC)


Mood: unnerved
song: Mr. Bright side by the Killers
Color: Blue

Feels like i haven't been here in so long, life has been crazy and i've been in a mode of writers block but also i have subjects that i want to write on and poetry waiting to be written, i have ideas and bits and pieces in my mind and it's going to be a good day when the damn breaks and all that finally starts flowing and i'll have a bunch of entry's and stuff as is my usual method of working through things.
But i've been working a lot and that's life.
Camp is Sunday, i need to do a lot between now and then to get ready, and tomorrow is the first day that i'll have had some time to do laundry and pack and get things together.
I can't wait for Falls Creek! it's the 100th Anniversary of fallscreek....that's crazy right? even crazier it will be my 22 year to go.
so yeah that's a big chunk of years there but it's a place i love and i believe in it and i wouldn't miss this for the world

I've been having migraine's this week, i've had two pretty bad one's and it's only Wednesday night.... ugh.
I hope i'm not going into a time of having those again often, when i was a teenager i went through a time where i'd have a couple of them a week and it basically would make me have horrible headache, Blind spots, sensitive to light and sound and it would make me nauseous and i'd always throw up.
which is also what happened yesterday and Sunday.
I'm still having issues with my eyes, i can't focus on things very long with out my eyes going blurry and or making myself feel dizzy.
It's mostly with things that are electronic, like my computer or tv, or my phone so i haven't been spending a lot of time doing any of that, not here writing or watching anything.
that also part of the lack of writing...but i felt guilty at the lack of writing when i was writing so much and just for me i wanted an update.
Because i know things are going to be busy....
I don't daily journal because that's boring but i think i'll try to write everyday leading up to when i leave Sunday, cause it will be a week without any computer, and very little cell service.
What do you expect?
It's 10:30 but it feels so much later, but i spent about 7 hours in a car today.... 3 and a half hour trip up to Davis and back.
i'm just glad i didn't get car sick.... (yeah this entry is just so glamorous isn't it? hahaha)

I think maybe i'd like to have a penpal from each continent... i have one in Asia, Australia and in Europe.
Maybe later someday i'd meet one from South America, Africa and maybe one from the US (i'd never really considered having a penpal from the US but hey why not? it's less for postage than letter sent out of the US.
But still... i'd not trade anything for Zoe, Jay and Karl.

With Zoe it's way more than just a penpal i feel like i can talk to her about most anything and while we do go long periods without a lot of talking i feel like we just pick it right back up.
I feel like my friendship with Zoe is really special, she's my first Penpal and first friend from a different country and i think that she's a person that i will, well that i hope to know, and be close to forever, as we both grow older and change, as her kids grow up and maybe as i get married and have my own, it's things that we will be able to talk about and i don't know.
she's my only girl Penpal, So there are things i talk to her about that i'd not talk to Jay and Karl about as openly, like my embarrassing awkward attempts at flirting or talking about Boys.
Or even like talking about my family and just....i feel like i don't have to force a smile with Zoe, like i don't have to pretend that i'm okay if i'm not and if i need to vent she's just there to listen and helps if she can.
And i hope that i offer her the same, a listening ear, someone not to judge but just to understand but also be honest with you.

With Jay, it's more of a Joking around situation....it's more a talking about things that are funny, things that are currently going on in the world, things that we are doing with our lives and what we want to do and achieve.
Like he's going back to school and he's going to become an orthpopaedic specialist nurse.
Which will take 3 more years of study, he's been a regular nurse for 5 years...
He's educated and smart, but super local and ridiculously danger prone.... like no one i've ever seen,
With Jay it's taking about Sports, talking medical, talking about jokes and making fun of each other.
He's... very much like a brother.

And Karl.... A person whom i both get along with and mesh well with yet at the same time we have day's where we don't agree on anything... and it's not to say that we genuinely fight (Though that is how we met) but we both think very differently and so we constantly challenge each other's thoughts and beliefs.
With him i feel like we are soul connected, we are an amazing team of opposites attract and his good traits work well with mine, and where i think though we are like magnets, on the one hand we constantly attract but if you catch us on a weird day or mood, i feel like we can also repel each other for example the days that we agree on everything and can basically finish each others thoughts and sentences and come up with what the other is trying to say verses the days that we argue and debate everything, like the day we met.

Zoe is like my Confidant
Jay is like my Brother
Karl is like my polar opposite but it works.

They are all so different, but they are all so special to me..... and i can't imagine finding other pen pals in other places that would feel that special to me the way those three do, but then again i'd not really seen Jay coming and Karl? well he was a complete surprise but not i can't imagine my life with out them.
So i know that my heart is big enough to add more people to this circle... but while i think it would be cool to have a penpal on every continent i'm not actively seeking it at the moment, it could be like Karl where it's a complete surprise and a great friendship happens or like Jay where i sought him out, or like zoe where she found me.
i don't know.
I'm open to what ever happens.

sheesh i wrote a lot once i got going on something.... ha i ramble